eighteen

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i came home to the news and i
couldn't think. i couldn't 
breathe and all i wanted to do
was scream and hit myself.
the news that she was gone
was so world altering that
i felt as if i would topple over
each time i stood, and all
i could think about was 
that she needed me and i 
wasn't there. she had needed
me. 
and i
wasn't
there.

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