Your Memes Are Just A Lie (Matt X Desi Fanfic)

hcapert 8

Nooo. Not consciousness now. Fuck consciousness, I don't want this. Nooo, thinkpan go back to sleep. SLEEP. Fuck me, that didn't work now my mind's even more awake. Fucking idiot. Ughh. Ugh. Pastery's alarm's probably going to go off sometime soon so THINKPAN FUCKING GO TO SLEEEEE-my phone. I tensed up, breathing shallow.

"Nononononoooo," My morning voice was groggy, croaking with every syllable. I pushed my arm out back behind me, knocking my phone off of the bedside table and pushing myself to the opposite side of the bed. All I heard was the sound of the phone hitting the wall and embedding itself into the carpeted floor. The blanket was pulled over my head by - GUESS WHAT - MY TIRED ARMS and I groaned. Another text sounded off. I knew who it was and I knew the sort of texts that he was sending.

It'd been a whopping 13 days since the big whoohoo- the big INCIDENT if you like- and that little fuckass didn't hesitate to send me message, by message, by message - EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK. And do you know what was on each of those satellite signals pointed into letters? I must've twisted myself into a knot in that blanket.

I inhaled oxygen into my windbags and exhaled for a long time until they were empty. I didn't want it to be like this. I wanted to be near that spontaneous douchebag even though for the life of me I didn't want to. I didn't want to be around, but I wanted his arms around me. I wanted to feel that idiot's sickly, strandy blonde hair through my fingers. I wanted to shred him through an Alternian shredder and shoot his shreds into the next galaxy just so that I never saw him again and had no chance to.

I stretched my arms in front of me, breathing in so that my air sacs were filled to the brim with oxygen before pushing myself up. I rubbed at my eyes, even if they'd been open prior to me getting up. Then, once again, I inhaled oxygen into my windbags and exhaled for a long time until they were empty and I started moving for the door. I looked down at the phone next to the doorframe, screen facing upwards. I'd only heard 2 beeps, which meant that the one whose name is a fucking stupid one was finished texting for today. That didn't stop my vocal strings from rubbing together to form muffled distressed noises. I quickly knelt over and picked the phone up with my salty fingers.

Believe me, I TRIED not to look at the messages as I went to the breakfast table, I TRIED, but by the time I was sitting at my destination awaiting Benito to realize my presence, my face was contorted trying to plug in the password. And slide. SLIDE. SLIDE YOU frickin ARROW OF USELESS PIXELS. Finally.

"Placing a smile at the perfect event,

Gracing your skin with the side of my hand, 

If I ever leave I could learn to miss you,

But sentimental boy is my nom de plume"

My air sac's surrounding bones clenched and I must've made a sound that sounded like a short wheeze because as soon as I did, a worried Benito turned around. Matt did this every. day. Inputting song lyrics fitting to his emotions into my phone via the short message service.

"Let me save you, Hold this Rope

I may never sleep tonight,

As long as you're still burning bright

If I could trade mistakes for sheep,

Count me away before you sleep

I'll stay awake 'til I trade my mistakes or they fade away"

Ughhhhh, nonononoNO. I banged my hand onto the table. "Ughhhhhh," Benito's sexy eyes were on me.

"Desi, what are you looking at?" His voice questioned, and you could still hear a pang of sleep in his voice. I glanced right back at the phone to see the second message. Wow, I'm so intent on destroying myself aren't I. I'm such a worthless pack of mutant DNA. Second messages are the worst - because Matt always sent a text in his own words, not a song.