Your Memes Are Just A Lie (Matt X Desi Fanfic)

cpahpheptr 10

// Sorry if this chapter is offensive in any sort of way. This is a meme anyways and this should be taken as a joke. //

Desi's POV

I picked up the cellular device and brushed it against my ear.

1 tone.

2 tones.

I slammed down on the off button and canceled the call before the phone could even catch onto what was happening. The shitty piece of human technology must've taken about 2 minutes to close down the Phone 'application'. UGHHHHH, YOU STUPID PIECE OF CELLULAR DEVICE. I threw it across the room until it landed over in the corner. This must be becoming some form of tradition now. Immediately, I sunk into the same position I'd been in pre-call, WITHOUT the phone. My eyebrows contorted together. Muscles on my face twitched in confusion. My entire body couldn't reciprocate to this sort of crap: my eyes told themselves to start tearing up; my tear ducts would refuse; my heart would thump; it would skip a beat; my air sacs would decide they had enough oxygen; I would gasp for air - none of it made any sense to me.

My teeth sunk into my cheek tissue so much that soon I could taste my disgusting Mountain Dew blood. There was this swarming mixture of what felt like blood, anxiety, longing, and desire inside of me. I NEEDED to do it. I didn't WANT to do it. I lifted my weight onto my feet and dragged myself over to the 'iPhone' laying on the floor. "Why me? Why fucking me?" 

I didn't even pick the device up from where it was against the wall. I just sat down, legs crossing, next to it as though it was a live species. "You know," I said, voice quivering unexpectedly. "You've caused a lot of fucking problems in my life for an inanimate object. In fact, you're probably the most shitty device on this puny carbon based planet and believe me, there's a lot of shitty stuff on this carbon-based planet. You're the EXACT reason why my life is more miserable than the weakest, most likely to get culled, Mountain Dew blooded mad man on Earth, and I don't see any possible way that you could be a cure to this disease called emotion I'm feeling now. Which was caused mostly by you - in case I didn't mention it enough." There was a pause in my words. "I don't see how you could cure this. Or my current degrading situation."

"I don't even know if I should get back together with that idiot anymore." I laughed slightly deliriously as my throat went thick. "I don't even know what to do at all. I don't know if I'll forgive Dora for whatever she did or didn't do if she did anything at all. I don't know anything. It's just a blur. Everything's blurry." And in fact as I said that, molecules of a salty solution gathered in my vision spheres that blurred my kawaii vision. That was all I was to everyone; a mutant on Earth, alienated by my disgusting blood.

A sniffle erupted from me. My clumsy, nubby nailed fingers swept my face clean of tears which could and had rolled down my cheeks.

"But," I continued on. "Nothing's going to get better just by talking to a cell phone, is it?" I sighed. I looked over at the phone and to a certain level it looked back at me. "So there isn't too much harm in at least trying to cure myself or forgive DORA." I picked up the cell phone and squinted at it, suddenly aware it was just a piece of technology. "Why the fuck am I talking to you?" I asked, not even stopping talking to it. As though it had no objection to my attempt, I was able to plug in my password in one go and the phone application opened back up.

As though on queue vibrations and one of those repetitive aggravating ringtones went off. Dora's name filled the screen and on reflex, I answered it. 

"What the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell Dooraa? I was just about to call you, smh." I breathed reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally heavily.

"Hola to you, too, Desi." Came that mexican's voice and I was suddenly aware of what was going on. "If it isn't too much trouble." Dora added on. I wanted to talk, I knew I needed to talk or else nothing would ever feel right, I just didn't know what to say anymore. All that came out from my mouth was a croaky series of stammering sounds as I tried to decide what to bring up.