☞ egotistical rats

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No, not actual rats. In all honesty, comparing my stepdad to a rat is an insult... to the rat. However, it's a common term these days to coin unto someone whose so foul and unbearable, the only other words are strongly frowned upon to say in public. 

For the record, there are many ways my stepdad is an egotistical "rat," but this is only one of the ways and I'm ranting about this one in particular because it just happened.

And boy... PHEW, I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH IGNORANCE. 

Wait. I lied. I hear stupidity every time he speaks, which unfortunately for my poor, traumatized ears, is far too often.

Basically, I mentioned before that my stepdad gave this big spiel to my mom about becoming a preacher when he's the biggest fucking hypocrite you could possibly imagine. He hasn't mentioned the unlikely fantasy again, but he's come up with something I think is a lot worse...

He's joined a cult.

Well, not really a cult, but when I think about a bunch of misogynists who like to consider themselves "holy men" sitting around a table talking about how men have "lost their identity and place" in the world, I think about a cult. A mild one, but a cult nonetheless.

Are you scoffing yet? You will be soon. And if you're not, then please kindly exit this story or leave a mature comment below explaining why you're a sexist person who believes the male is the dominant sex.

LISTEN UP, Y'ALL. I'MA TELL YA THE WHOLE STORY.

So, a little background about this douchebag (a lot of you will think I'm being hella harsh on him, but let's remember who's lived with him for nearly ten years), he reads the Bible every morning. God only knows why because he does everything it says not to do. This bitch writes down passages in a notebook, as if he doesn't carry the Bible around where it has everything printed. He goes to this "men's group" thing at his church where a bunch of whiny middle-aged men gather around to talk about how undermined and effeminate they feel in their lives. They supposedly talk about God, like you're supposed to do at a church, but I don't know any of the men, only heard my stepdad talking about them. I'm not judging them in particular. Let's focus on the asshole of the story.

This hoe comes home from his men's group one day (mind you, he doesn't go to the actual church mass, just this little gathering of his), and he starts talking to my mom in the kitchen about it. I'm in the family room, and there's no doors or anything separating the two so I can see and hear them fine. He always tells her about his group, you know, trying to talk himself up and shit. He's so fucking fake adjlshdfsjdlkjsd. Sorry, that was my venting and then reminding myself that's a different rant for a different time.

ANYWHO.

All of the sudden, I hear this bitch go, "Our speaker this morning looked around and asked, 'What have men lost in our new society?' And I told him 'our identity.'"

BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?

I DON'T KNOW WHO'S STUPIDER--YOU OR YOUR "SPEAKER."

MEN HAVE LOST SOMETHING? WHERE? WHO? WHEN? HOW?

I'm like raising my eyebrows all interested in the dumb shit about to come from his mouth, and my mom is being dead quiet, like that's when you knew she's getting annoyed. My mom won't say a fucking word when she's pissed, so he's already headed down a dark road. 

He goes on saying, "Men have lost their leadership in households and in marriages. We've become weak. God put men here to be the leaders and women here to be submissive."

Y'all.

My fucking head was spinning.

I legit stood up and walked into my room before I cursed this pitiful excuse of a man out. 

I mean.

Come again?

Women are supposed to be what now?

Boy.

BOOOYYYY.

I'm mad all over again thinking about it lmao.

First of all, Oh-So-Holy-One, I guess you forgot that you fucking popped out of a woman. I just don't understand men like this, like... And he still tries to act like he's all respectful and decent when you literally just said women are supposed to be quiet and obedient? How do you come up with that mindset when you came from a woman? Granted it took a man's sperm, but you weren't in a man's stomach developing for nine months. You didn't get pushed out of your dad's fucking penis hole, did you?

I don't get how men consider themselves superior like... I believe 100% that whatever a man can do, a woman can do and vice-versa. There's nothing that's gender specific in my eyes. And I strongly believe relationships are about balance and compromising, not having a "leader." Who the fuck does that? I know old beliefs and traditions have the male as the dominant leader of the household and shit but y'all THIS ISN'T THE MEDIEVAL AGES, OKAY. THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FUCKING 50s ANYMORE.

Y'ALL NEED TO GROW WITH THE YEARS, ALL RIGHT.

He said some other dumb shit, but I couldn't take it so I stayed in my room. My mom didn't say a single word the entire time. We ranted about it later together. She's better than me, though, I would've stopped him dead in his fucking tracks. No man is about to try to own me like property, I think the fuck not, sir. 

Anyways, I've officially decided to never get married and to adopt and foster children. Saves a lot of stress, so I've witnessed and been told.

And no, before anyone comments saying I'm hating on men, I'm hating on one particular man and anyone who acts and thinks like him. I know there are decent men out there, though they may be hard to find, and I'm not bashing the sex. I'm bashing this specific dumb ass, okay?

I'll part with words of wisdom my grandma always says: "I wouldn't have another man if he were made of solid gold."

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