As you can probably guess from the title, this book will mainly be filled with incoherent rants topped with colorful language, but if that's not your thing, there's also some short stories, recommendations, and more potentially intriguing things.
So...
Y'ALL IT'S ONLY THE NEXT DAY AND SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED LAST NIGHT I'M DONE.
This one is short and more up for debate, probably, but I'm convinced okay. I don't give a fuck what you say, I'm fucking haunted. Let my paranoid ass believe it okay, there's no persuading me otherwise anymore.
LISTEN.
I started Supernatural (iroNIC ISN'T IT) a while ago and binge watched up until halfway to season four, then I stopped for no apparent reason honestly. I love the show (Sam is a little bitch) and all, so I just started watching it again the other night. I made it to season five just fine.
Then all of the sudden during season five last night, my computer is not having it.
When does my internet start going out?
Oh, right when they fucking free Lucifer from hell and talk heavily about the devil.
I kid you not, last night it took me almost two hours to finish one forty minute episode because of how bad my internet was working. And look, I didn't really think much of it because our internet is shit. It goes out all the time.
The weird thing, though, is that every time Netflix would stop to buffer, it would always reach 99% perfectly fine. And you know the gray bar that shows how much has buffered? There was plenty of the gray. But then it would freeze. And then the page would die.
The page would die and say I wasn't connected to internet.
SO WHY DID THE WIFI ICON ON THE BOTTOM OF MY SCREEN SHOW FULL BARS?
Usually when my internet goes out, that wifi symbol will flash while it tries to regain the signal, right, but it wasn't doing that last night. It said I was connected and the bars were solid, like, it was fine.
So I kept reloading the page to finish the episode and it kept doing the loading-until-99%-then-freeze shit. And after the whole light bulb cover thing, I'll admit, my mind started running wild. I was like "maybe God doesn't want me watching this" so I finished the episode after refreshing more times and I closed out the Netflix tab.
WHY DID MY INTERNET WORK PERFECTLY FINE AFTER THAT Y'ALL.
WHY DIDN'T YOUTUBE BUFFER.
WHY DID NETFLIX LET ME GO BACK AND WATCH IZOMBIE PERFECTLY FINE.
PLEASE.
PLEASE ANSWER ME THIS.
I love Supernatural, okay, and I really wanted to watch it, but Jesus says no. I don't know why Jesus is telling me no, but he fucking said no so no means no.
I AM DONE.
If y'all don't believe in God or ghosts, you're gonna think I'm crazy but I honestly don't care anymore. Call me crazy if you want. I don't mess with demons, no thank you. I'ma need you Supernatural fans to keep shipping Cas and Dean for me, though, okay, because I can't finish the journey with you.
I'M SORRY, GOD DOESN'T WANT ME TO FINISH IT.
AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO TEST MY LUCK WITH DEMONS, NOPE.
So yeah. I'm haunted. Potentially crazy. Just gonna go burn some sage in my room for a bit. Maybe put some salt along the window sill. Maybe I should invest in some hex bags at this point for fuck's sake.
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