As you can probably guess from the title, this book will mainly be filled with incoherent rants topped with colorful language, but if that's not your thing, there's also some short stories, recommendations, and more potentially intriguing things.
So...
Now, let me just say, I bet my entire savings (which is two pennies but that's not the point) that none of y'all can guess what I'm about to say. Take the title of this part and guess, but ain't nobody gonna guess right, I assure you.
This is gonna be short, but it'll be meme-filled and I was terrified for my life so.
I also feel like it's going to offend people but eh.
Read onwards, I suppose.
NOW.
I live in a decently quiet neighborhood. I mean, as of now there are people doing fucking fireworks just because it's July 1st because apparently they can't wait for July 4th but whatever. This isn't about them, it's about a different patriotic psycho.
And no, there is nothing wrong with being patriotic.
But listen.
Y'all, my only solution to this is that she's not all there upstairs, and I'm not saying that to be mean, believe me, I just genuinely can't imagine a "normal" person doing this.
Let me just tell the story already.
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Basically, I'm going to take Cinder out because the hoe ain't trusted without a leash quite yet. Sometimes she'll slip out the door and if she hears you coming, she'll wait till you're five feet away and then run from you so. Yeah. We still take her out.
I'm just chilling waiting for her to do her business, right, and we're in the front yard so the road is in front of her.
All of the sudden, I hear Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue by Toby Keith blaring from down the road. Now, I ain't gonna lie, okay, the song is pretty jammy right like it's not an awful song. So I'm kind of:
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Still waiting on Cinder, who's now looking down the road where the car is coming...
Y'all.
This woman's car...
Oh Lord.
I tried to find a picture similar so you can visualize, but none of them fit so just picture this: you know those flags that you can attach on car windows? Picture as many as you can fit lining ALL FOUR windows of your vehicle. What's a back window? All this lady knows is bumper stickers. The front? Her lights are painted as the flag. I don't even think that's legal.
