Diaries of an Angry Fangirl

☞ money money money

I haven't ranted in a while and now seems like the perfect time too. I could rant on many things about money, but this just happens to be the most recent:

I got accepted into a college I applied for in New York.

You're probably thinking, "wow, awesome!" I mean, it would be...

If I weren't broke.

I mainly applied there for kicks and giggles, you know, like I didn't actually expect to get in because it's such a good university and so many people apply. It's for the arts, so I obviously I applied to be a writer which meant I had to add a portfolio and then I really didn't think I'd get in. But I did.

And now I don't know what to do about it.

I want to go because I've never been outside of Florida, and do you know how hard that is for a writer? It's why all my books take place in Florida because it's the only damn place I can accurately write about. I want to have the experience with me, and I feel like it's such an awesome opportunity and it would such to give it up.

So, um, if any of you want to give me a "small loan" of a million dollars, that'd be great.

Or, you know, if you live in New York and want an introvert for a roommate, that'd be great too.

And another thing, I feel like the only people genuinely excited for me is my mom and my brother. My mom is proud, but she's worried about me being so far away, obviously. I told my dad, and he legit had that face where he was trying to be happy for me because I'm happy, but he's like not happy at all, you know? Like he doesn't want me to go that far either and he was like, "From our small little town all the way to Brooklyn? That's a big transition." Like he didn't really think I could do it, and he didn't really want me too, you know?

But I get it because he's hella protective and stuff and I already barely see him.

But my grandma was like, "New York is dangerous. You don't need to go there."

LIKE THANKS FOR THE CONGRATULATIONS. NICE TO KNOW YOU THINK I'M GONNA DIE.

My brother said it'd be stupid if I didn't go but... y'all, I need money. I'm applying for scholarships and grants and stuff, but I don't know if I'll even hear back from any of them. I've been applying for jobs, but most places you have to be 18 and I'm only 17 so. I'm like dead in the water. 

I'LL ROB A BANK, DAMMIT.

Don't tell anyone.

Should I delete that since the cops will snoop through my shit if I get caught?

Nah.

Seriously, though, this is just a random little rant because everyone is always urging you to go to college, but no one seems to consider the fact that hardly anyone can fucking afford it. And to get government aid you've gotta be broke broke, as if there aren't levels to poverty. And even then, they barely give you shit. 

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FUTURE IF I CAN'T FUCKING AFFORD ONE.

I guess I'll settle with living under a bridge.

But if you guys seriously have any tips on how I could pull this off, it'd be greatly appreciated, honestly. Pray I win the lottery *cue moon emoji*.