Jace and Clary: This love

chapter 33

Clary's POV

After that night things went back to normal, there was no more guilt of my thoughts, Jace is to thank for that. The truth is I am afraid more than anything. I'm afraid I won't be good enough, Jace in every way does everything possible to take this feeling away and he does. People like him and people like me, well we don't work out. He is the hot, stunning, gorgeous, golden man and I'm just plain old Clary. Thinking this reminds me of what I once heard from the intro of a song.

"And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away. And as the years went on things got more difficult-we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had in the beginning. He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew it. When he walked in every woman's head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way I understood him and I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. And I still love him. I love him."- Lana del rey

"What are you thinking about?" I look up to see Jace in the doorway.

"Just how I couldn't live without you" he walks towards me with a smug look on his face that he forces away.

"Of course..I couldn't live without you Clary know that not ever..I would go insane" he grabs my face with both hands and kisses my forehead knowing how much I love it when he does that. He pulls me close and holds me like it's our last.

Isabelle's POV

Me and Simon have broken up but I haven't told anyone because I don't want them to feel bad for me. I don't want Clary to know because she will want to talk about it and if I talk about I will just burst into tears. 'I am not weak, I will not cry' is the words I keep repeating to myself over and over in my head. But my heart doesn't know how listen to my mind.

I tried so hard for simon, I did everything to understand and be in his world but in the end I don't belong in it. At least that's what I tell myself. I was so excited when I thought Jace and Clary were having a baby because it allowed me time to not think about me and simon. I got to think about a bundle of joy that would be entering the world.

But it was a false alarm. My hopes were up so high not even the angel could reach. All is good though, I mean they should wait I guess. With all this baby talk it makes me think if I will ever have a baby. Could I ever have a baby. Who will I have a baby with. Who is the one for me.

'I'm afraid', my fear is not something I openly admit to as I am supposed to be strong and brave, but what if I end up all alone with no one to make me happy and all that sappy shit. I want it all, even the sappy shit, I want the small acts of love I want it all. It doesn't come to me though. 'One day' I tell myself 'one day' but one day is a day that might not ever even come.

Jocelyn's POV

As time after time goes by, my pregnancy gets further and further. I am now about 5 months going strong. Thinking about my baby makes me think of Clary and her false alarm. Yeah I knew they were "doing it" but that doesn't change the fact that it's weird. I mean it's Clary and she is my baby other than the baby I will soon be having but she is my baby.

I am so glad that she is not pregnant because us being pregnant at the same time would be so weird. Don't get me wrong I do want grandchildren one day but that day is not for a long while..I hope.

I want Clary to live her life and enjoy it and not have to have a baby at a really young age like I did. I had Jonathan at 16 going on 17. I am so grateful that she is 18 and not pregnant I'm proud. I know that her and Jace will one day have a baby but that one day is a day I will look forward to and dread because that is when my baby will finally grow up besides her getting married. OH GOD marriage. Why is it when your kids grow up its so hard. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.