Street dancer(on hold)

chapter 15

Jaydens POV

As soon as i said it her face changed, should i have told her? its not like  i lied I mean i really do think im in love with her..i better say something before she freaks "i know you probably dont feel the same way but i just i needed to tell you, its ok if you dont feel the same Riley" she stays quiet for a little while longer before speaking "i dont know.." i look at her a bit confused but then she continues "I dont know if im in love with you Jayden.. i know i feel something for you thats really strong but to say im in love i dont know... i dont know what to even- how to even know if i am.. love isnt something i was surrounded by growing up you have to understand that" i nod " i do i understand that im not asking you to tell me this exact minute what you feel for me i just wanted to let you know how i feel about you" she smiles "Thanks you" "for what?" she shurgs 

"I dont know everything i guess i owe you alot Jay you've done so much for me" i smile back at her "nothing i wouldnt do again in a heart beat, can i ask you something?" she nods "anything" should i even ask her? if she doesnt want to talk about it ill drop it untill shes ready to talk "What happened between you and Zack i mean" she looks past me a troubled concentrated look on her face before sighing "its just a lot.." i grab her hand " if you dont want to talk about it right now that fine i just wanted to ask we can talk about it whenever your ready" she smiles "maybe one day Jay.. i dunno when but maybe one day." i kiss her on the check "lets do something today? i owe you a second date"  she laughs "why do you say owe? i enjoyd our first date" she says putting air quotes  around first date making me laugh " i did too baby girl i did"

We both get up i take her hand and we walk down into the kitchen, we walk into my parents laughing they stop as soon as we walk into the room my mom stand up "Jayden. What is she doing here?" i feel her take a step back and get behinds me "she slept here mom." i say dryly her face hardens "under whos permission?!" i laugh sarcasticly "i am  not 16 mother i dont need your permission for anything" i pull her close to me my father stand up " Jayden do not speak to your mother like that! as long as you are staying under our roof you will obly by OUR rules" i get angry "fine then i guess i will no longer stay under your roof!" the room became quiet my parents just looked at me they exchanged a look before my mother spoke "You're really choosing her over your own family?" I look at riley her face is pressed to my back i smile a little, then i look back at my parents "She isnt making me chose like you guys are, family is suppose to stand by one another no matter what.. this isnt a family anymore not since Jessica died."

The room goes quiet again "now you listen here young man-" "for what?' i say interupting my father "dad we hardly see you anymore all you do is work work work! if family is so important why dont you ever make time for us anymore?" he looks away from me I look at my mom "and you. I've already said everything I needed to say to you" i squezz rileys hand so she knows everythins ok "you two where not the only ones affected by what happenned with jessica, she was my family two you know. My big sister, the one who always encouraged me to follow my dream, she knew i wanted julliard for the longest thats why she wasnt as suprised as you two where when i turned down all my football scholarships I already had a full ride somewhere else. Pretending like she wasnt your daughter or submerging yourself with work wont make it go away, its been 4 years and even after her death you two haven't changed a thing"

I turn around and gently push Riley out of the room and start walking towards the door "Jay.." I stop and look at her "if I'm trouble I'll go somewhere else its not a problem" i smile at her " you're never trouble Riley" we continue walking out the house we head to the boulevard and we sit on the edge of it looking at the beach I feel her eyes on me she wants to say something I know she does. I look over at her "what is it?" i ask "if you don't mind me asking what happened with your sister, i know you told me she ODED but?" I look back at the beach two little kids where running around playing "my sister suffered from depression.. she was also Bi-Polar she was never happy with the life she lived. My sister was a musician she loved it but mom and dad didn't, our mom always made her act appropriate, she wanted Jessica to be like her while dad wanted her to be a renouned surgen they never pay'd much attention to what she wanted and jessica didnt like to dissapoint my parents so she gave up music and started acting like the perfect daughter my parents always wanted they where happy but she wasnt. She started sinking deeper and deeper into her depression,  soon after she met Raffael he was in the mix of becoming one of the biggest drug lords, my sister took an intrest in him and of course so did he. My sister become so hooked on him and the drugs, there where nights where she would get home and not even know what was going on who she was or who i was, i became really worried so I decied to join Raffs litte group just to keep an eye on my sister Raff grew very fond of both of us there was nothing i wouldnt do for him just so I could stay in the group. Soon he had to go into hiding only a select few knew where he was and where to find him Jessica wasnt one of them but I was, she became so despret for him and constantly begged for me to take her to him but i couldnt thats when the withdarwls started to happen and my parents found out about her drug addiction. our dad tryd everything so did our mom but jessica shut them out, eventually she found a different place to get her drugs but those people knew she was one of raffs people so they lead her to even bigger dangrous drugs, they didnt give her a limit she could have as much as she wanted and in one of those night where she didnt come home she had over doesed and died.. i told my parents it was an accedental over dose but it wasnt, she left a note for me telling me that she just couldnt anymore and that she was sorry for doing this to me but she just wanted everything to stop and it did"

i feel her hand on mine "I'm sorry that you had to go throught that and that you  have to carry such a heavy burned like that" she scoots closer to me and wraps her arms around my chest and rests her head on my shoulder "this is going to sound selfish but im just glade that didnt happen to you"  I look at her, she still has bruses on her face and its a little swolen but she still beautiful, she smiles and i feel my heart race, she makes me feel so happy, I kiss her and rest my forhead on hers "and im not letting that kind of thing happen to you" she looks at me a little confused "riley can i ask something?" she nods I turn and wrap my arms around her "stop with the drugs, i know it isnt my place to ask this of you but i just dont want anything to happen to you. not like what happened with jessica" i tighten my hold on her a little " i know its going to be hard but i love you and  I'll be with you every step of the way I promise I wont leave your side Riley, you're worth so much more than those stupid drugs you amazingly talented and you could do it, become a dancer, I believe that you can, so please will you at least try for me?"

I feel my shoulder start getting wet, i pull my face back and look at her shes crying why? "r-riley?" she looks up at me i whipe her tears with my thumb "I just-nobodys ever.." she takes in a shaky breath and sniffs "nobodys ever said that to me.. any of it, everyones always doughted me and told me I couldnt get out of the life I've only ever known Thank you, I'll try for you Jayden" she smiles and I smile back "C'mon beautiful lets go walk on the beach" I jump off the boulivard onto the sand and help riley down i take her hand and we start walking we dont talk about anything is particular just talk about the randomest things shes so different than anyother girl, what would have happened if i never met her? if instead of going to see what the crowed was looking at and just kept skating by would i have eventaully met her? i dont think so god im so thankful for her and just this is so odd