Rebel: A Monstercat Fanfic

043 - Breakdown

Song of the Chapter: Escape - Noisestorm (Breaks)
His newest song and I LOVE IT

If you start it at "I can't help that" it's pretty fun to read and listen to :)

(Phantom's POV)

"What about over there?" I ask.

"Hmm? Oh ... sure, whatever," Noisestorm mutters, keeping his hands in his pockets and trying his best to avoid me.

"Noise ... "

"Just ... stop."

"I thought you said you couldn't stay mad at me. What happened?"

"You're not begging anymore," he says sarcastically.

"Pleeeeease?" I try.

He glances at me and rolls his eyes, cracking a smile. "You're an idiot."

"So how 'bout over there?"

"Everywhere is a death trap, especially during the day." He surveys the streets, his eyes practiced and somber. I remember when I first met him - how he looked at everything like this, as if the whole world was against him.

"Let's sit down for a second while they're not on our tails and then figure something out. Deal?"

We find a bus stop and rest for a moment. It's about noon, and we've been chased practically all night and into the morning. The soldiers following us were called back - something about another Flight subject on the loose and two dead soldiers. We get about another hour, I'm guessing, before we have to run again. We're almost to the bridge, but eavesdropping has told me that the city's closed off. We're trapped.

Noisestorm sighs beside me and leans forward, resting his head on his hands.

"Is everything okay?" I ask him.

He hesitates a split second too long. "Yeah. Everything's fine." His voice wavers on the last word: fine.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. Definitely sure."

"No, it's not fine." I turn to him and gently touch his shoulder. He pulls away from me. I try again and he gives me a shove in response. "I'm only trying to help you." He doesn't say anything, so I continue. "You know what, Noise? I hate that word. 'Fine'. Because really, no one's ever 'fine'. They say it to hide what's really going on. I'm not fine, you're not fine, no one is fine. I'm tired of watching you suffer because you won't tell anyone - do you think it'll make you seem bigger, stronger? Because you're wrong." I have to pause to catch my breath and swallow the lump in my throat. "It only tears you apart. I hate having to stand here and listen to you blatantly lie to my face and say you're 'fine'. It hurts, alright? It feels like no one trusts you enough to help them."

"What do you know about trust?" he whispers.

"Stop it, please," I beg. I'm shaking and my heart aches as I speak. "I only want to help you, and you keep brushing it off with that cursed word, 'fine'. Guess what? You're not fine, and it's so obvious, it hurts. Stop trying to hide it and let someone help you. If you don't want me to help, go in and get professional help. It's getting worse, Noise, and it's getting obvious. You're not yourself anymore. I'm worried about you."

He doesn't answer for a moment, but then he groans and says, "Stop doing that. You're making me feel guilty."

"Stop doing what?"

"Just ... that. Everything. Making me love you again."

Love me? My heart lurches a little. I don't know how to feel about that.