Rebel: A Monstercat Fanfic

068 - Stronger

Song of the Chapter: Stronger - Stonebank (Hardcore)

Hard Dance and Hardcore are one of my favorite genres, just saying.

(Tristam's POV)

We've been searching the city for five days, hiding during the daytime and wandering once the sun sets. There's been no sign of Noisestorm.

I'm not just worried about Noisestorm, though. Jensen has Braken, and while I'm worried for his safety, I'm terrified for the safety of everyone else. Braken is dangerous. He's willing to kill to save himself - and to save me. My worst fear is coming true. Jensen has access to that unhealthy amount of rage and terror, and there's no way Monstercat and I can break him out without help.

"We've looked here already," Monstercat says, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Then we'll look again." I try to turn the truck on, but it just rumbles a little and dies. My anger combines with a sudden terror, and I frantically turn the key over and over, but the car doesn't start. I swear quietly, and then shout it out in frustration.

"Hey, don't say that," Monstercat protests.

I slam my fists against the wheel, loudly swearing again. "I don't have time for this!" I don't even know what to do now. There's that deep gut feeling that tells me something terrible is going to happen - or that it already has.

"Hey, hey, calm down."

"Don't you tell me to calm down!" I shout, and he flinches away from me. "Just ... give me a second." I practically kick open the truck door and pull myself out. I slam the door shut as hard as I can and then start to pace, back and forth, back and forth. I don't care that I'm completely soaked by the rain or that my wounded leg is aching. I only care about Braken. My rage comes up, burning in my chest, and I have the urge to throw something, so I grab the pendant from around my neck and yank it off. I stare at it for just a second and then hurl it as hard as I can, down the street. Of course, as soon as I do, I want it back, but I don't know where it fell and I don't have time to look for it. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm being shredded into a million pieces, torn by my common sense, my loyalty, my rage, my terror, my exhaustion. I let out a frustrated scream and slam my fists down on the truck. Both sounds echo through the city unnervingly. "Please, somebody help me," I whisper into the pouring rain.

Eventually, I get back in the truck and slump over the steering wheel. Monstercat watches me carefully.

"You weren't like this a couple days ago," he says softly. "What changed?"

"I tried to stay calm, but when you hold it in for that long ... " I take a huge breath, gripping the wheel until my knuckles turn white. "The rage and terror build up until you explode, and there's no stopping you. I have every right to be angry and afraid. The longer we stay here, the longer Jensen has to figure out how to use him against us. He's going to kill us all!"

"Noisestorm?" Monstercat asks in confusion.

"Braken," I correct him, my voice harder than intended.

"Braken? But isn't he - "

"He's the most dangerous of us all." I lean over to rest my forehead on the wheel, but I go too fast and bang into it.

"I ... " Monstercat pauses, trying to figure out how to say it without making me angry again. It won't matter how he says it. I'll still be mad. "I don't understand," he says. "I don't know him as well as you do."

"Braken is a time bomb," I snap. "When he was eleven, his dad became abusive. He was determined to stay nice, to stay calm and submissive, and he'd hold his rage in. Not like I do. He's bottled it up for years - almost eight years. As he grew up, he stayed stuck in that eleven year old frame of mind, keeping his rage in, but he gets angry so easily now - every little thing sets him off."