Rebel: A Monstercat Fanfic

061 - Remembrance

Song of the Chapter: Gina - Mr FijiWiji (Drumstep)

(Rogue's POV)

I wake up a little as I hear someone shift over and over in his sleeping bag. Every time he moves, he coughs and cries out softly in pain. I'm still half asleep, so I ignore him. I know it's Nitro Fun and that he's in pain, but I can't do anything about it.

Nitro suddenly stops breathing - I can't hear him at all. I start to wake up more, and then he bolts upright with a terrified gasp for breath. Still keeping my eyes closed, I listen as he tries to calm down, but his breathing is shaking and he makes a hiccuping noise trying to keep himself quiet.

I force myself to wake up and roll over to face him. "Are you okay?" I murmur.

"Yeah," he chokes out, turning away from me.

I sit up, pulling my blanket around my shoulders. "No, you're not."

"Yeah, I am."

"Nitro, you woke up crying and stopped breathing. You're not okay." I shift a little closer to him and gently wrap my arm around his shaking shoulders. "Tell me what's wrong."

He doesn't answer. Instead, he scoots toward me and pulls his knees up to his chest, leaning against me as I hold him. He's shivering, too, from the chilly night air, since he's shirtless and only wrapped in a blood-stained bandage. The bruises on his chest, his broken ribs, look even worse in the moonlight, like blots of shadow spreading across his body.

I rub his arm gently and let him rest. "Tell me what happened," I whisper.

Nitro doesn't answer for a moment. "I had a nightmare," he mutters. "That sounds stupid, but it was so vivid and I could feel those shocks again ... "

"What shocks?"

Reluctantly, he tells me everything that's happened to him, the torture, his betrayal, how the guards would beat him even after he answered their questions. He tells me how he told Jensen about each of us, the 'main guys', he called us, told him our strengths and weaknesses and how to tear each of us down.

"You should hate me," he cries, curled up against my chest like a little kid again. "I betrayed everyone."

"Hey, it's okay." I hold him as tight as I dare - I don't want to hurt him. "I probably would have done the same thing. I'm not strong like you make me sound."

"You're not going to ... kick me out or anything?"

"Of course not. You're one of us, whether you like it or not."

"Thanks," he mumbles. He starts to relax and his breathing slows down, back to normal. He starts to fall asleep again, so I tuck him into my sleeping back with me and lay down. It's tight, but it's warm with both of us in here. Nitro falls asleep again, and soon, I find myself thinking alone in the moonlight.

Jensen changed him - not physically, but emotionally and mentally. He turned the happiest kid I know into a terrified, cowering boy. I wouldn't be surprised if he got something like PTSD or another similar disorder from his encounter and Jensen's torture. No one should have to go through torture, especially kids like Nitro. I know he hates being called a kid, but I can deny it. He and Phantom and Evee ... We have to protect them. There are other young artists here, ranging sixteen to eighteen, but these guys are on the front lines. They're right up there, risking their lives with us every day. We have to protect them.

"Goodnight, Nitro Fun," I whisper.

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(Noisestorm's POV)