"I don't get it. People will spend hundreds of dollars more on a vacation on a boat, just to ignore the actual ocean. Look at them! We've been in the middle of nowhere for days and people are doing the same things as when they left! You'd think a cruise would involve the ocean a little more. I still don't understand why you wanted this for out honeymoon." This is not the first time my wife has heard this rant since we've been on the boat. Hell, we've been having this debate since before we were married.
"Honey, why don't you just relax and take a dip in the pool. Then later we can..."
"No! This is idiotic. I'm not swimming in a pool when there's miles of ocean in every direction!" At this point, I got up from my deck chair, marched over to the nearest table, climbed on top, and waved my arms to get everyone's attention. Dozens of people in various combinations of swimwear, Hawaiian shirts, sunglasses, and fanny packs and in varying degrees of sobriety, looked up at me and waited for my announcement.
"Distinguished passengers of the Caribbean Princess," I shouted with some sarcasm, "I mean no offense by this, but have you all lost your minds?" My audience looked understandably confused. "Everything around you was created by people no smarter than you and yet you've been conned out of hefty portions of your hard-earned money to get a room on a boat, just to sit around all day without interacting with the ocean! We are in the middle of the Atlantic, and how many of you have never actually touched her cold, salty water?" A few people hesitate before raising their hands slightly. "Exactly my point! You've been duped, but we can change this! If your're brave, follow me!" A surprisingly large amount of people get up to follow me, but I'm more concerned with proving my point. I run over to the rail at the edge of the deck, squat on the top rung, balancing carefully and holding on tight. I wait only a moment for dramatic effect, then fling myself into the Atlantic's cold embrace. About ten other people follow in my footsteps.
After being fished out, I expected to be arrested, but the boat police let me go with a warning. The memorability of my honeymoon just multiplied by a thousand.
YOU ARE READING
The Writing Rock
General FictionAs a member of a writing club, I end up with several short pieces and nothing to do with them so this book is dedicated to that. I won't be publishing everything I write, but if it isn't terrible, it'll probably end up here.
