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Okay, I was looking through funny newspaper headings here are two i found:

DIANA WAS STILL ALIVE HOURS BEFORE SHE DIED.
A series of previously unseen CCTV imagines have reveled that Diana was alive and well before she was tragically killed in Paris, ten years ago.

I'm pretty sure you would be alive before you died, I though this one was pretty funny.
Here's the second one:

ARMY VEHICLE DISAPPEARS
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.

Couldn't stop laughing, I wonder why it went missing, hahaha.

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