All That Matters - A McCann Story

eleven

eleven

JASON

I sat at the long dinner table. A table set for six, with only three occupying the seats. I could feel Chantel's eyes on me as I pushed the peas around on my plate. I didn't want to look up at her. I didn't want to look at anyone because I was scared that if I did they'd see every emotion that's on my face. The emotions I've been holding back for hours. I wanted to die, it was official. "Dinners good." I murmured.

"You've hardly touched it." Chantel said.

"Well what I have touched tastes good." I snapped.

"Jason, watch yourself." My dad said from the other side of the table.

I looked up at him. "You knew didn't you?"

"I thought you had already knew. I thought that was the whole reason you were with Chantel." My dad said.

"You think because I'm with Chantel it was cool for her to go running to Ryder?" I asked.

"Why does it matter Jason? You both are over and done, maybe it's for the best." Chantel sighed.

I glared at her, "You shouldn't even be speaking."

"Look," she started. "I get it. You're mad, but don't take it out on me. She moved on. Maybe you should too."

"Maybe you should shut the fuck up." I growled.

"Chantel maybe you should just leave the conversation alone." My dad soothed.

"No, maybe you should leave." I said pushing myself away from the table. I walked over to the door before grabbing my truck keys off the hook and walking out. I heard Chantel call my name. I didn't stop though, I had to keep moving. If I stayed back any longer I would've hurt her...and bad. I was sick of her already. She had no right to say what she did. She didn't understand the fact that she is the rebound and if anyone should move on it should be her. I will continue to hurt and deal with the pain until it's gone. But I doubted there was any getting over London. No matter how much I stated I hated her and no matter how many times I've walked away, nothing could ever amount to how much I loved that girl. I will always love that girl, no matter what she does to me. No matter whom she's dating or who she dated, I'll always love her.

*

I walked into the diner that was about forty-five minutes out of Vegas. London and I found it together one night while Ryder and Wang were drunk in the backseat complaining about how hungry they were and didn't want any fast food. This diner was the only place you could get a real burger from at four in the morning that would satisfy every taste bud you have in your mouth. I come here so much that the night-shift knows my name like I worked there myself. I stood at the podium and waited for Kathy to walk across the floor and over to me with a smile on her face. Kathy was about mid-forties and had the voice of an eighty year old chain-smoker. Her looks made her look about twenty years older than she actually was, but she was the best listener I have ever had in a while. She's helped me through so much shit and doesn't even know it. "Hey Kathy." I sighed.

"Oh no, someone's had a rough day. Where have you been? Haven't seen much of you around anymore." Kathy said grabbing me a menu. "She's already here waiting for you."

"What're you talking about?" I asked.

Kathy just smiled at me as she led me over to a booth in the corner of the restaurant.

LONDON

I looked up at Jason as his jaw clenched and unclenched. "I'm not so hungry anymore." Jason said, ready to turn away.