All That Matters - A McCann Story

twelve

twelve

JASON

I walked up the driveway to my house with the keys in my hand. Before I could even open the door it was swung open with a very mean looking Chantel in front of me. I couldn’t help but smirk. This girl was reckless, if you thought about it. “Yes?”

“Where were you? Do you not know what time it is?” she snapped. She was wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of my socks.

“Yeah, I know what time it is.”

“You left yesterday. I want to know where you were.”

I pushed past her. “Chantel, we’re done.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“No, I don’t think I fucking did.”

“I said we’re over. I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“It’s because of her, isn’t it?”

“It’s because I don’t want to be with someone I don’t have true feelings for.”

“You’re so stupid if you fucking think for one second that she wants you as bad as you want her. She’s still with your best friend. Who would do that?”

“That’s not her fault.”

“Are you stupid? Of course it is.”

“No it isn’t.” I snapped. “You better leave before I do something stupid. I wont take you talking bad about her in front of me.”

“Fine, I’ll leave Jason, but don’t think for one second it’ll be the last time you see me. I have tricks up my sleeve too you son of a bitch.”

LONDON

I sat outside my house for a little bit before finally walking in and seeing Ryder sitting at the table in my kitchen. I sighed and leaned against my closed door. “Hey.”

“Were you with him?”

I looked down at my feet. “Eventually I saw him.”

“What happened? I’ve been here for hours worried about you. Did you not think about that?”

“I’m sorry Ryder.”

“You two are getting back together aren’t you?”

“It’s not definite.”

“But you want to?” he asked.

I walked towards him and put my hands on his face. “I love you. I really do, you know that right?”

“But not as much as you love him?” He wrapped his arms around my waist. “London I can make you feel more than he can. More than he ever will.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I can keep you out of harms way. I can love you better. Believe me, I can fuck you better too.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Did you tell him? Did you tell how we always fuck? How you always tell me you love me?”

“Ryder, don’t do this.”

“You don’t want to break up with me, do you?”

Did I? I didn’t even know. I felt so wrong right now. I felt like I was playing for both teams and didn’t know which one I wanted to win. I wanted to be with Jason, but spending five months with Ryder has given me a new view on everything. Being with Ryder drove me insane in all the right ways, and he wasn’t lying about the whole sex thing…although I did. I lied to Jason right to his face and he believed me. He believed every damn word I said and I felt so dirty for it. I felt sick to my stomach for leading him on, but I didn’t want him too far. God, I didn’t know what to do.  I really didn’t know what the hell I wanted when Ryder stood up and started kissing my neck. “I don’t know what I want.”

“I know what you want.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

“We could either do this right here on the table or we can take it to your bed.”

“God, Ryder don’t do this.”

“Take your pick London. I’m not letting you leave me without a fight.” He said, picking me up.

I thought long and hard about it. I could tell him to take his ass home and leave me alone. I could tell him that I’m in love with Jason and that Jason is the one I wanted to be with. But, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t tell him that I was so in love with Jason because maybe, just fucking maybe, I was kind of in love with Ryder too. So before I could even stop myself from saying anything else, I said, “Take me upstairs.” And prayed to God that Jason didn’t find out about this.

Or else Ryder and I would both be dead.

TBC.

[A/N]

This is the end of All That Matters, and look forward to the next book coming this summer called, “Flatline” :-) 

Tell me what you thought about the story and tell me what you think may happen in the next book!!