Reading Between The Lyrics

Reading Between The Lyrics - Chp 14 {The Darkened Fairytale}

'We aren’t beautiful figures of fairytales and Cinderella; we are the fragile broken people of broken promises. The clock still strums twelve but that still doesn’t mean you’ll come afterwards. Second chances and broken hopes is what I live for. What do you live for? Not even the fairy godmother can save me this time, no not this time. Not this time. Second chances and broken hopes, how do we still hope?' – Riley May – The Darkened Fairytale

I dove for my phone as it blared and vibrated loudly on the coffee table, I was like a rabid beast diving for the phone as if my life relied on it. Yet in somewhat ways I did rely on it to keep sane, the pass day since dad and I had that serious conversation things had gone slow and right now I needed someone to take me away from all of this.

“Hello?”

It was in that first syllable and already I could feel my heart plummeting in disappointment, I had tried so badly not to let myself get my hopes up and yet in that short time of my phone ringing and leaping for it I already had hoped and prayed with a soaring heart that it was someone else. That it’d be him, Chad.

“Oh, hey Luce.” I murmured softly, trying to hide my disappointment but I think I failed. I could feel the fall of my face, my heart let alone my disappointed voice and a sagging disappointed sigh passing my lips.

No matter how much I was furious let alone utterly wounded and hurt by Chad I was the chance to talk to Chad right now I’d take despite all the trust issues and the utter bombardment of emotions. I needed to talk to him or just see him. I had so much going on but I just wanted to get out of this house and go back to normality but I honestly didn’t know if that was possible anymore, especially with Chad. Could things ever go back to the way there was? And even more frightening was Chad ever coming back or was there honestly no more of Chad and I?

“Hey sweetie, I’m sorry I’ve fallen off the face of the planet.” Her voice lathered in apology and guilt “I am so sorry hun, do you want to talk about anything?”

I couldn’t help but frown deeply, more confused than upset by the topic bought up “Who told you?” I wondered chewing on my lower lip.

“I just called up at Chad’s and was speaking to Lisa.” My heart tightened and lurched “She said she was talking to your dad, she didn’t give details of what’s going on sweetie, hell I don’t even know if she knows but I am so sorry babe that I haven’t been about, I just….” She said the struggle to find words that actually were forgivable so obvious in her frustrated and tormented tone.

I smiled faintly, the action somewhat foreign “Luce it’s okay, I didn’t tell you what was going on. You’ve been busy, I get that.” I said honestly and I did mean it, Luce and I were close and all but you didn’t need to be in each other’s pockets to be close. Yet I was realizing more and more that if Luce was absent for a bit I wasn’t going to worry about that but with Chad it was an all different story and I only knew now why it was different, because not only was he my best friend since diapers but because I loved him, he was my spine.

I listened to her sigh heavily, frustrated with herself and I already knew she still hadn’t and wouldn’t forgive herself and that had my lips tipping into a smile because for the first time in a while I felt close to my friends again. It felt like it had been over year since I had heard from anyone apart from my dad when in reality it hadn’t even been two weeks. All I wanted was for everything to go back to how it was before, for Chad to talk to me and to somehow get past all these horrid, dark feelings that have overwhelmed me since I had that stupid idea of finding my mother.

“So what’s up anyways?” I murmured softly as I begun to draw little pictures of butterflies and swirls and even the odd sketches along the side of my lyric and poem journal.