Sugar & Spice //C.A.L.M//

Mikey

I'm dead.
-

Life works in many ways. It's beautiful like the sunset, so vibrant and full of colors. People standing around and awing at it's beauty. But it can also be as dark as night. Catching all those who are so bright and turning them as dark as the night sky. Lulling them in and capturing them. Making them fear the night and hope for day.

For some, life was special. It was about finding happiness or even spreading happiness. While others searched their whole lives for just one ounce of happy and found no luck. And in those groups there were some who found happiness and made the best of it and their were those who never smiled a day in their life and gave up, but their were also those who never gave up. No matter how bad life may have seemed they would fight because they wanted to be happy and they deserved it more then anything, even if it was just for a second. They just wanted to know what it felt like to actually smile a real smile. They wanted to laugh and it be genuine, they wanted to love and be loved. And they were determined to get what they deserved no matter how many broken hearts, tears or bruises they had to go through they would fight for their happiness.

And that brings us to Michael, the newly turned seventeen year old had been looking for happiness his whole life. 

He thought he had found it when meeting his current boyfriend, Anthony. 

The two met on an app- Sugar & Spice- they chatted for quite some time before finally agreeing to meet. And for Michael it felt like love at first sight. The way Anthony's eye's would crinkle when he smiled at some stupid joke Michael would make. The way Anthony just smiled when he first glanced at Michael. Michael was happy that not once did Anthony give Michael a judging look or say anything mean about the way the blonde dressed. Most people would call him names or just glare at him, but not Anthony. Nope. All that came out of Anthony's mouth were things that made Michael smile, almost a real smile. Anthony would often complement Michael and tell him how beautiful his blonde hair was or how adorable his giggles were. 

They were like something out of a fairytale book. Or at least that's how Michael felt. I guess sometimes love can blind you. The things you look for, for your whole life can blind you.

Now Michael's home life was different. He hardly felt welcomed in his own home. Michael's mother would call the boy names along with his father making Michael spend most of his days in his room or at his secret hiding place no one knew about. 

It stayed that way for a long time. Not even Anthony himself knew about it, not even when they started dating.

Michael was always happy, but never happy enough. He would always try to convince himself that he really was happy. Who he didn't have to convince was Anthony. The black haired boy assumed that if Michael was smiling he was happy and he assumed that if the blonde haired boy said he was fine that he had to be. 

Michael never told anyone how he really felt. No, he did that once and something happened making him promise to never do it again. Not to anyone that he didn't feel safe with.

He wasn't to sure on if he felt to safe with Anthony or not and he felt guilty for it since the two were dating, but it wasn't Michael's fault.

It was a bright Monday morning when Michael woke up snuggling up to his boyfriend. Michael had stayed at Anthony's house the night before not wanting to go back home. He only told Anthony that his parent's were out of town and he didn't want to be home alone. The blonde haired boy was to afraid to tell Anthony about his home life. To afraid that Anthony would possibly judge Michael or maybe even say he was overreacting.

Michael knew he didn't have the worst life, but he didn't have the best either. He tried to be happy, he really did. To Michael it just felt like no matter how close he got to happiness it was like their was someone pushing him farther into that deep dark whole.