Raceway

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I need to burst. I need to vent .  I need to get all of these thoughts out of my mind. In my mind. Such a messy, dangerous, interesting place. It's so easy to get lost in this sea of emotions and thoughts running through this mind of mine. This mind of mine. Where is the order in it? What happened to the control I had over it? Why is it going crazy? Why one thought pops up and then the next second, another thought has already formulated. It's thinking faster than a race car at its maximum speed. The hell. Why can't it slow down. Oh look. Two options: 1. either stop, slow down and risk being tossed and turned and damaged because the speed is too much to slow, or 2. Keep going fast. Keep up with the other race cars. Don't fall behind. Keep up with the leaders. Be one of the leaders. Disregard any broken wheels because they can be replaced. Be the leader. Stupid life. There's no choice but to go fast. Go fast or risk being a disgrace. A loser. A person who can't compute things at a normal rate. Going fast is the only way to stop those words. To stop listening to those insults. Maybe if I go a little faster....I might ......you know, a person once told me that if you go too fast, then you'll crash and burn.....maybe that might happen to me....maybe not. I'd rather take a quick crash and burn than a slow painful breakdown. Since when did life become this raceway that I'm so eager to finish the race?

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