Take Flight - Josie's journey #Wattys2017

Chapter 13: Searching

The heat and dampness were overwhelming as I tried to make my way through the crowd. Sweating bodies pressed against me, their warmth radiating. Although it felt disgusting, I was somehow glad to warm up. I'd lost my sense of time and therefore had no idea how long I'd sat outside. Only when I started to shiver, I'd finally managed to get up. My head was spinning so fast, everything I saw was a blur. It took all of my concentration not to fall as I stumbled inside. Now that I got pushed around, I didn't have to worry about falling. The mass of people carried my body, steadying my feet.

Andrew was nowhere to be found. I'd been looking for him at the bar and in every lounge but he wasn't there. At least, I got to drink a glass of water. I'd stumbled to the bar and almost tripped over my own feet. Instead, I crashed into massive, broad shoulders. By the time I was standing straight, the guy had been swearing like a sailor. His English was very bad and with a strong accent but I managed to understand a few words.

"Why you not go and drink some water, you silly drunkard."

He'd been hissing at me. He then threw some swearwords in a foreign language at me. You didn't need to understand the language to know what they meant. Mumbling some lame excuse, I fled to the counter and did what he'd suggested. While I drank my water, my eyes scanned the people around me. The cold liquid felt great and I almost choked on it because I was drinking so fast. The alcohol had made me thirsty. There were many men at the bar, most of them good-looking and ordering more than one drink. Some were accompanied by women, who all had one thing in common. They were just as drunk as I was. Many men, but the familiar English guy was nowhere to be seen. 

After I was sure to have checked every single spot of the club, I'd come to one conclusion. He had either left the club or was on the dancefloor. That's why I'd made my way into the crowd.

Here I was, pushing myself through a sea of bodies that moved to the rhythm of music that I'd never listen to. The bass was so strong, I could feel it vibrating in my chest. Finding Andrew seemed impossible at this point. Not only was the light dimmed, making it very hard to identify the facial features of the many people I passed. Even worse, however, was my vision. Everything was blurry or even doubled unless I squinted my eyes very hard. My head was chaos, my thoughts were running wild and it was impossible to stop them. Simultaneously, memories from my childhood were mixed with memories from my time with Dom.

A joyous smile spread across his lips as he swung back and forth on the old green swing in my parent's garden. Weird, didn't they put that swing down many years before we started dating? His hair was tousled from the wind that was blowing, the leaves from our giant willow tree were rustling. His blue eyes were beaming as he looked at me. It was as if stars were shining somewhere deep inside him, their rays reflecting through his eyes. His cheeks were blushing, a tender expression visible on his face.

"Come here, honey! Give me a kiss."

His voice was crystal clear and so loud, it felt as if he was standing right next to me. It wasn't the only noise my head was imagining. Just as clear as Dom's voice, I could hear Hannah's melodious laughter and the barking of a dog. But whenever I turned around to locate the noise, no one was there. It was freaking me out, a film of cold sweat covered my cheeks. Everything felt so vivid and realistic. Is that what hallucinations felt like?

"Calm down, it's just an illusion."

I told myself and repeated the words over and over again in my head as I kept on moving forward. It didn't work though. Now that the barricade had fallen, memories of Dom came crashing over me like a thundering wave. With horror I noticed how close I was to drowning. Midnight blue eyes with thousands of green spots were pulling me down into the darkness. Precious air left my lungs, little bubbles floating up towards the surface.