Selfish Souls (Phan)

You Have Me : 17

Dan's POV:

I scream as I wake up, clawing at my throat trying desparately to breathe. Phil's by my side in a second, rubbing my back, telling me I'm okay, that I'm safe. I breathe harshly trying to catch back up with reality.

"Dan, just breathe, you've got it. You're safe," he repeats. I never knew words could be so calming, I never knew I could ever believe someone when they said that. But they can and I do. Phil keeps me steady and eventually his mum walks in, worried out of her mind. I feel so guilty for disturbing them. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to wake anyone," I say, embarrassed I let something as simple as a dream get to me. "It's perfectly fine dear, the children are on a trip with their father for the week," she says, and I see something flicker in Phil's eyes. She leaves, saying she's going to get us something to eat since it's close enough to morning anyways.

I feel bad, burying my head in my hands. "Dan?" Phil asks carefully. I look up between my fingers. "You have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm here for you and if that means waking up at four in the morning because something scared you I'm willing to stay up all night," he says. I tackle him in a hug. He laughs, holding me just as close. The warmth feels nice, so does the beating in his chest. Calm, loud, and strong.

"I love you Phil Lester," I say. I don't mean to say it, it just kinda slipped but I don't regret saying it because I'm selfish like that.

"I love you too, Dan Howell," he says giggling. I didn't realise I was holding my breathe until I wasn't. His lips are soft and I never want to move or let go.

"Wanna go downstairs for breakfast?" He asks, pulling away after a few mintues. I shake my head no, kissing him again. He laughs through it, sitting up and grabbing my hand. "Come on let's go. We have enough to worry about without you starving," he says. I roll my eyes, smiling, and following him downstairs.

I smell it before I see it. Pancakes and the smell of fresh biscuits fill the house. I can almost taste the sugar overdose in the air. I was about to say we had things to discuss before breakfast but they can definitely wait. We walk into the kitchen and the smell of amazingness only grows.

"Thought you could use something sweet," Caroline says, smiling at me. I wake her up at the crack of dawn and she makes my biscuits and pancakes? She's just got ten times awesomer (thats the only word that suits this situation).

I eat happily but I catch Phil staring at me, smiling. "What?" I say, looking up from my food. "Nothing, just now I know how to make you happy. Shove sugar in front of you," he says. I stick my tongue out at him. "It's not my fault your mum's the best cook ever," I say. "Aw, you're sweeter than the biscuits," Caroline says. Phil pushes me. "Suck up," he says laughing. "No, I just have better manners," I say, smirking. "Riiight," he says, rolling his eyes.

We finish eating, and I thank his mum for the meal. We still have two hours before school starts so we go back upstairs to play video games. We play two to one in Mario Carts. I would have won but I started staring out into space on the last lap and he won when I kept running off the edge of the map. "Yes, 1st place! I win!" He says but I'm only half paying attention.

What will school be like because of yesterday? I beat the school's biggest bully. Will they keep making fun of me? Will everything be different? What if nothing changes? I'm not sure which one would be worse.

"Hello? Earth to Dan?" Phil says, only getting attention once he shakes my arm. "Hm?" I say, looking at him confused. "What are you thinking about?" He asks. "Nothing," I say looking back at the game. "Oh, cool. Now what are you really thinking about?" He pushes. I sigh. "I'm wondering how things will change once we get to school," I say. "I don't know, but there's whatever happens will, and you thinking about won't change that. And if something does go wrong, you have me," Phil says. I feel slightly better, maybe I should tell the truth more, at least when it comes to Phil.

:::

Phil drives me to school. As I walk down the hallway half the people part for me, scared expressions on their face. The other half look curious or give me fake smiles.

"Hey, dan right? What you did yesterday was sooo cool. You wanna hang out after school," a bleach blonde cheerleader, leaning on my arm. "Um, no thanks. I'm busy," I say, wondering why she had a sudden interest in me. "Do you not like me," she asks, her lips pouting and what were supossed to be puppy dog eyes. "I don't know you, either way thank you for the offer but I have to get to class," I say. She smiles. "It's okay, we can talk later," she says, kissing my cheek. I turn and Phil does not look happy. She walks away with her friends, waving flirtatiously at me.

"Let's get to class," Phil says, grabbing my arm. I laugh as he drags me down the hallway. "Is Philly jealous?" I ask, teasingly. "No," he says, being stubborn. "Don't worry, no one could replace my bear," I say, hugging his waist, almost knocking both of us over. He rolls his eyes, but he's smiling now. "I just don't want her to end up using you," he says. "So you were jealous," I say. "Fine, but only a little bit," he mumbles.

"Yes! I was right," I say, letting go almost incoming us over once again. "Shut up, you spork," he says, punching my arm. "Ow, meanie," I say, holding my arm dramatically. "You're such an abusive friend," I say, sticking my tongue out at him. We bicker until we have to split ways to our classes.