Selfish Souls (Phan)

What Ifs : 19

Phil's POV:

I know it was probably her fault but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I try to push the negative thoughts for my head the entire day but it doesn't work too well. What is he suddenly likes girls? What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he'll ignore me from now on? God, I'm turning into Dan.

Dan's POV:

I abandon class looking for him but I can't find them and after an hour I give up, hoping to see him after school. What is he thinks it's my fault? What if he leaves me? That be the worst thing possible and I try not to think about it. I try to stop the thoughts but old habits die hard. I should have just left when I could the none of this would of happened. I'm such a failure. The dream from last night still haunts me because I know it's true. 

I never noticed but I have sixth class with Madison and seventh with Basil. Madison reassured me that Phil would understand and I didn't bother confiding in Basil, getting the sense that she doesn't like me too much.

She ignores me till the end of class when she pulls me aside. "You should keep away from Phil. I know you probably think you have some kind of connection or some shit but you don't, he's that way with everyone. I've seen your type, poor hurt rich boy needs help, whatever. Its a pity interest, he'll leave sooner or later anwways. So stay the fuck away from Phil before you get him hurt," she says bitterly. Leaving me to stand in shock on the side of the hallway as she walks away.

Students rush past me and although they still run into me, it doesn't hurt as much. I see Phil waiting by his car, waiting for me. I look the other way, I could walk home. He's probably mad at me anyways. I'm debating my options when his light blue eyes meet mine and the decision is made for me. He waves at me, smiling slightly and relief rushes through me that he doesn't hate me. I rush up to him. "I swear, she did it before I could stop her. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm sor-" he cuts me off, kissing me hard and I return the action. Out of the corner of my eye I see a few people stop and look at us?

"I'm sorry," I say against his lips. "It's not your fault," he says hugging me. I smile into his shoulder. "Thank you," I say. "You did nothing wrong, I have no reason to be mad with you," he says softly.

"Come on, it's Friday. There's no reason to be all sad and stuff," I say laughing and pulling away. We drive to his mum's deciding to make our plans there instead. She welcomes us and I feel bad for coming over here so often.

"We need to talk, I've put off thinking long enough," I say once we're both sitting on his bed. "Okay, say whatever you need to, I'm listening," he says. I take a deep breath. "I might be able to find my mum, I'm not sure where to start but I know she's still out there. I also want to know why these guys keep coming to my house, the first time I knocked it off to a robbery but two times consecutively isn't a coincidence. All I know is that they are working for someone and that someone knows my mum and who she is. There's also the possibility that she has powers like mine, unlikely, but possible," I say, talking as I think. "So what do you want to do with this information?" He asks.

"I'm not sure, I don't even know where to start. I think we might have to wait for them to make the next move but from what I've observed of them so far, it won't take long. They want something with me and they saw what I could do eariler meaning they're going to come at me harder and with my backup," I say, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I think. "I can't stay here, I'm endangering you and your mum and once the rest of your family gets back then they're a target as well. I need to stay at my house until we know more about what they want," I say.

"You can stay at your house, but I'm coming with you," Phil says stubbornly. "You can't, you could get hurt," I say frowning. "And you couldn't? I coming with, and you're not convincing me not to," he says. I sigh, "Fine, but if something happens and I tell you to hide, you can't stay and fight. Got it?" I say. He nods.

We sit in silence for a few seconds thinking over everything. "That was very methodically put, what are you feeling about all this?" Phil says, catching my slip up. "Aw, so close," I say, smiling and falling back on his bed. He laughs laying beside me, propping himself up on one of his hands. "You can't hide from me," he says, "tell me what you're thinking about in that brain of yours." His face being so close to mine that its hard to concentrate. I grab his other hand, feeling comfort in his presence.

"I'm thinking that... if I do find her, will she even want me? Maybe she left because she didn't want me. I'm trying to imagine how it could possibly end well and how she could explain just bailing on me with it evolving her giving up on me," I say.

"Dan, can you do me a favour?" He asks. "Anything," I say. "Stop trying to predict the future, what will happen will and you're only hurting yourself by trying to change something that hasn't happened yet. So try, for me, to stop thinking in 'what ifs' for once in your life," he says. I smile, squeezing his hand, "For you."