speak | minishaw

27

School today was boring, Harry had all his usual subjects, just trying to get through the day, he kept in mind what Simon had said, the fact that they weren't even dating. It left him in mixed signals, does Simon want them two to be together.

When the bell rung, Harry got out of class as soon as possible, he made it back to his locker, he opened it up before shoving all of his books into his locker and taking out his bag, he closed his locker shut, as he went towards the back gate he always exists out of.

He walks home, alone, bored as all hell. When he reaches the front door, he opens it to reveal his empty home. He walks upstairs, his brother and sister weren't home yet, he places his things down in his bedroom before opening his bedroom window and climbing out, feeling the air that made his hair brush back. He sat there looking down at all the people he saw, making up stories about them all.

An old couple walked by, holding hands, they were adorable. The two looked so happy together and still looked so innocent, you could tell they had been together for such a long time and that they were never going to separate, the pair made Harry's heart melt. He wanted that type of love, were you were so in awe of the other person that you know you will stay with each other for a life time. It was magical to him. He wanted magic. He wanted to look at someone and feel a connection, like the one he felt with Simon, if that is what you would call it, the two have a weird bond.

"Their cute," he hears a voice behind him, one voice and one voice only, that voice belonged to Simon. Simon was here. Simon had come to his home.

Simon comes and sits down next to Harry. "They're a really cute couple, they look happy together, he looks so happy to be with her, you can see it on his face, he feels complete, that's what I feel like with you."

"Do you though?" Harry asks.

"Of course."

"Simon your so complicated." He rolls his eyes.

"Harry I know that already, I understand I'm fucked up, but you have to believe when I say I really do care about you." He smiles. "I really do, I always have from the first time I say you, your like my little princess."

"I'm a boy." He says.

"Then your my little prince," he smiles.

"So why did you come round here?" He asks.

"I have nothing to do after school, I saw you walking home and I thought I would come to see you, no offence but you don't look like you have much else to do so I thought we could talk, I like talking to you a lot."

"But it always has to be in private."

"Harry your making me sound like a huge prick."

"Well sometimes you are a huge prick Si."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise, I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm a little bit of a mess at the moment. I just feel off and I don't know what to do about it, I feel like my whole word had been flipped upside down and I can't stand on my feet, I just continuously fall over. It sucks to be here."

Simon strokes Harry's hair as Harry leans into Simons shoulder. "I'm sorry that you feel that was Haz." That nickname again. Haz. It wasn't the best nickname and it sounded a little stupid, but when Simon rolled the word of his tongue it sounded perfect, it made him sound special to Simon, it was something no one else called him and it felt real.

"Does any of this have to do with your mum?" Simon asks. He remembers.

"Yeah. I can't shake the thought out of my mind that I could have stopped it, but I didn't, why am I a wimp that decoded to run to Zoe as soon as I saw something bad, why couldn't I of help?"

"Your not a wimp."

"I am." Harry replies.

"Trust me when I say your not a wimp Harry," Simon retaliates.

Simon pulls Harry in closer, Harry loved being this close to him, he had the warmness in his body, and while it sounded like a whole cliche and that this was all to perfect, he didn't give a shit about that. He couldn't care less that this moment seemed cheesy and this felt like a fantasy love book. He didn't care about that, he just let himself dissolve in the warm, soft, gentle touch that was Simon.

Simon tilts his head to look into Harry's eyes, they stay like that for a minute, just looking at each other and taking in the features of the face, no words, complete silence and they both scanned around looking at all the imperfections that each other had, though both of them would disagree on the word imperfections, because both in their minds thought that each other were beautiful and that they didn't need to change anything about themselves to look better.

Simon eyes gaze to Harry lips as he starts to lean in, Harry noticed how close he was getting, but he doesn't want to kiss him, his words from earlier were still eating him up, he takes his hand and holds Simons chin, stopping him from kissing his lips.

"What are you doing?" Simon asks.

"Stopping this, because after all, "we aren't even dating."

Simons eyes widen as he leans closer. "Don't say that ok, don't bring that up." He whispers.

"You said it to me first." Harry says.

"I shouldn't of said that, it was a dumb thing to say, I regret that ok."

"It hurt me." Harry puts on a pout.

Simon looks down, the guilt in his eyes, he didn't want to hurt Harry, he liked him more than words can explain, he wasn't good enough for Harry, he deserved a guy who could look after him truly. A guy who didn't want to hide it from the world, a guy who didn't hurt him and didn't say the wrong stuff all the time.

He would never be that guy.

"Harry do I ruin your life."

"No, you do things that I hate sometimes, but trust me, I don't know what I would be doing without you, I care about you so much."

"Can I kiss you now?" Simon asks. Harry nods.

Simon and Harry's lips meet and the whole world around them goes away, their lost in the moment, two love struck boys, they fit each other so well, even if they both were a little fucked up.

Harry pulls away, his cheeks a soft shade of pink as he away warmly laughs.

"Haz."

"Yeah?"

"I want us to be something."