speak | minishaw

added extra - 68

HARRY -
The sky was a light grey, the overcast weather seemed fitting on a day like today, not much sunlight as everyone made their way to the grave, for Harry this was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life, he had moments with Simon that where unforgettable, and while it hurts that they ended things, there's always a place for him in his heart.

He decided against wearing the skirt to his funeral, the fear of judgment from the people attending a daunting reality, what would be the point anyway? Simon wasn't here to see him in it, he didn't need to impress him. The skirt didn't change anything to do with the outcome of the fatal day, so why bother putting it on again.

Harry wore a blue jumper and some tracksuit pants, not bothering to wear a suit, he walked up to his grave, a black box being his chosen casket. A photo of him was positioned on a stand, a photo that was very beautiful. In it he was smiling wide, his grin ear to ear, his eyes glistening, the blue striking, so vibrant in that photo. The photo was so real, so pure, he wondered for a second when this photo was taken, when was he ever this happy?

He kneeled over the box, wanting to say something, anything, but he couldn't. His knee in the dirt, his eyes near from escaping tears, he couldn't muster up a few words, now didn't seem right. Now felt to pressured, all these people here, all here for the same reason. Here to celebrate a death.

Harry Lewis hadn't spoken a word to anyone since the death, because one again, speech had only caused chaos. Maybe life would've been better if he had never spoken to Simon, never looked at him, never wanted him. He would never have known, and even if Simon had still taken his life, he wouldn't feel the massive pain he feels right now.

Everyone had tried to reach out to the blonde boy in distraught, but his words had evaporated, and his past self had come back into true form, his school work had slacked, his relationship with his family had crumbled, he didn't think he'd ever talk to Callum ever again, they were over.

Harry couldn't do anything, we had words in his head, the apologises, the wishes, the changes he wouldn't done, the goodbyes. All he could feel was hurt, and his chest rose and fell as he breathed heavily, next to a dead body not being able to do anything.

So he got up, and he ran. Ran away from his family, ran away from the unknown strangers. Ran away from the body and ran away from the funeral. He didn't stop running till he had reached the dodgy side of town. He was standing on the side of the road, hidden by trees. Crying. He couldn't go back, not now, not ever.

He waited, Harry waited until a car was coming and leaving town, so he asked for a ride, hopping into a strangers car with none of his stuff, but not ready to return to the place that has caused nothing but bad on him. He sighed, resting his head against the seat. "Rough day kiddo," the deep voiced older man asks him as they pass the sign that exits them out of their stupid small town.

He nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I needed to leave, no use for me there."

JOSH AND JIDE -

Josh's mother had them the boys ties as the paced around their house, things hadn't been the same for these boys, a big whole in their lives missing. It was weird, waking up and continuing with their lives without him. JJ still sometimes imagined him walking through that door. Sometimes he waited, sitting on the step, hoping to see a tall, silver headed boy come into view.

It never did.

Josh tried to act like he was strong, the boy not an emotional one, JJ was happy to admit defeat, he could openly cry to his best friend when he needed it. Josh was more stone cold, not wanting to look weak. Inside he knew it was ok to not be ok, that people would understand the situation he was in, but Josh refused to show it.