speak | minishaw

44

A rainy England day, typical, the rain poured down Simon's window in the early hours of the morning, Simon couldn't get to sleep, today he had to go to school, another boring fucking Monday he didn't want to attend, Simon grabbed his phone, the blaring light hurt his eyes, only 3 in the morning, he placed his phone back down, and tried to close his eyes, but his brain wouldn't switch off, it's like his thoughts were haunting him.

He stared at the ceiling, trying to just get some rest. He chewed the inside of his cheek, he thought about the two boys he had mixed feelings for, he thought of how he had gotten himself into a mess like this, he hoped Cal says nothing about the whole kiss thing.

Simon sat up, pulling the blankets off himself, he grabbed a big jumper, slipping that over his head. He opened his bedroom door, looking around the hall making sure everyone was asleep, he took his phone and shoved it into his pocket, creeping out of his room and walking down the stairs, Josh's mums bedroom door was swung open, probably out with the boyfriend that Josh was still oblivious too, Simon went into the kitchen, taking a sip out of the coke and then grabbing a chocolate bar from the fridge, he put his shoes on at the front door and then left.

The sky was a dark grey, rain chucking down on the streets, Simon saw the car was missing, he breathed in an out, before pulling the hood over his head, he walked out on the road, no sun to be seen, and the moon was still present. He walked down the middle of the road, the streets completely empty, seeming to be no cars in the roads in front of him. He shivered as he walked through the streets. He walked in puddles, splashing his joggers at the bottom, the damp feeling not bothering Simon that much.

He turned the corner of his street, walking away and closer to the 24 hour pub, the place where all the sad, depressed people went when they wanted to block out memories or just forget for a minute, he walked inside, not bothering that he was underage. The people never seemed to care, Simon always had a way of looking older than he truly was.

He sat down on the stools at the front of the bar, a young woman came over to him and smiled. "What would you like?" She asked. "Give me whatever you want to give me, something that can make me not feel as shit." He says, the girl looks at him sadly. "You know I'm just going to give you the most expensive shit." She says. "I know," Simon says, aware that everyone will take advantage of the people who felt shit.

The girl nodded as she went to go make his drink, Simon grabbed out his phone and opened it, he just stared at the screen, he didn't know what to do with it, he was stuck, back in one of those states he gets every so often, no matter what he does these always come back, where all he can do is feel as if he isn't worth it, like he had messed everything up in his life.

The girl came back out with his drink, Simon grabbed it and took a swig, and the girl raised an eyebrow at him. He shrugged it off, not caring what other people thought, he sat there alone just drinking his beer as he looked around the room, glancing at other people who sat alone or with another drinking, he spotted a girl and a guy, looking to be a middle age couple drinking together, they both looked so lost, they both shared the same facial expression, it was quite disheartening, you never think it, but when other people around the world smiling and laughing, there are people down in the dumps, trying to smile.

Simon finished the drink and orders another, the girl returning to go fetch him another, he knows his wallet wouldn't find Simon's coping method fun, but Simon was living in the moment, and he didn't care right now how much money he was spending on something that only blocks it out temporarily, and makes his life a living hell the next when he's throwing it all back up and his head spins, messing up the walls that surround him.

The door opens behind him, he doesn't bother to look, but he hears the new comer approach closer by the louder incoming footsteps, the person rests a hand on Simon's shoulder, Simon looks up to see no other person than Cal. Cal sits down on the stool next to him as he orders a drink as well. Simon looks at him in disbelief.

"What are you doing here?" Simon asks. "I could ask you the same thing," Cal replies. "If you want a serious answer, Harry and I got into a fight, so I went here to cool off." "You and Harry got into a fight at three in the morning?" Simon asks. "Yeah." He says. "About what?" "It wasn't about you, don't worry," Cal says, that makes Simon get his breath back, he doesn't want Harry to know yet, he doesn't know if he could take it.

"I haven't told Harry about the kiss I swear, we got into a fight about something else I don't want to talk about, I thought he was being a bit of a dick, so I left." He says. "How did you know this place, your new here?" '"I didn't, just drove round till I saw the bar, didn't think you would be here, but I saw the back of your head, and I noticed you immediately."

"You noticed me that easily?" Simon says. "You're a pretty distinctive blonde." He laughs. "I don't want to be blonde anymore." Simon admits. "Then what do you want to be?" Cal questions. "I've had the urge to go silver for a while." "Do it." Cal encourages, Simon shakes his head.

Cal places money on the counter, he then grabs Simon's hand and pulls him outside to the car he drove in, Simon gets into the car. "Buckle in, we are heading to the store then we will go dye your hair, nothing better than a 3 o clock hair change." Cal laughs.

"Ok," Simon agrees, reading for this change and ready to spend time with Cal, he felt a little bit bad, but when the car took off, he forgot, and just let it happen, why not just change his hair, he does worse, why would this be such a bad decision?

Because he was doing all of this with Cal.