AskKat ~~~ Wattpad Advice Column

Help the Helpless

I have something for Ask Kat.

Dear Kat:

I was born and raised in the Mormon religion. You may or may not know what that is, but for the purpose of this letter, you only have to know that the model Mormon is a straight person who doesn't curse, doesn't date until they are 16, doesn't go to dances until they are 14, and Hylia forbid that anything sexual leaves their mouth.

I, however, am bisexual, curse as much as any other 13-year-old, have been to a school dance that was held during the day, and occasionally make sexual jokes.

Problem? Yes. My mom expects me to be that perfect person, which all the teens in my church call a Molly Mormon. Once, when I didn't hear her calling me to come to youth activities at the church, she started banging on the bedroom door, took my phone, read my texts, and forced me to tell her about my suicide attempts and my struggle to avoid anorexia/bulimia due to bullying. Rather than supporting me, she clearly expressed that she didn't like who I was, and expected me to automatically conform to her standards. I'm so glad I hadn't figured out back then that I was bi. To this day, I keep everything secret. She doesn't know about my Kik, dA, or Wattpad accounts. She also doesn't know that I actually fell into a stage of bulimia towards the end of last school year. And I can't even talk about the things I love, because my favorite story is "inappropriate" on her terms, and the couple I ship online is guyxguy. I tried talking to the school counselor once, but he threatened to call my mom. I feel sick inside. I don't even believe in the Mormon religion anymore. I'm tired of faking a life I don't have. And I'm so freaking tired of being the girl in the background, but I have to stay there so that my mom doesn't find out about who I am for the rest of the world.

Got any wise words?

-Identity Problems

Dear Identity Problems,

Im sorry to hear about your struggles. I will always be here for you.

I do not know much of this religion, but anyhow, feel that you should speak with your mom. If you are honest with her, the consequences are less severe than if she finds out you are lying. Explain to her that no one is perfect. That at your age, many people are unsure of their sexuality, religion, and themselves.

Just know that you are special. No one should control your life, you ending it, or any eating disorders you may fall into. Also, be the best you can be. You can't change who you are, but you can change what you have become. Tell yourself that you WILL stop suicide attempts, eating disorders, etc. Attempt to think and slow down before something rude or sexually leaves your mouth.

Remember, life is like toothpaste. You can't put it back into the bottle, but you can always clean it up, forgive and forget. You won't be that perfect, minty-clean version your mother wants, but guess what? She's not perfect either.

Make sure you surround yourself with who you want to be and strive for the best. Quit trying to hide what you've done. Get it out and move on. You can't live in today, worrying about tomorrow.

xoxo,

Kat