Saint - Finding the Normalcy Within the Abnormality

Chapter 13

       No one had expected me to ask such a question. I'm the type of kid to follow my parent's instructions to the tee. Without so much as a question, I do it. That's how I was raised. I was taught it's disrespectful to talk back to my parents. When Brendan went off to college and came back with his own opinions I couldn't understand it. Now I realize I'm my own person. They kicked me out their house. They practically disowned me and now they want me back. What the hell is that? It's unfair to me.

       "Please Jake," She tried again. "I know I was wrong."

       "Mom you called me disgusting," I said and she nods

       "I know and I regret it. I was overcome with emotion I didn't mean it," She explains.

       Our food arrives and I avoid saying anything for a while. After dinner, we sat at the table for a while longer. Brendan couldn't take the silence so instead, he paid the bill. We left the restaurant and I was told to think about it. Going home was silent and tense. When we got home as soon as we got out of the car Axton asked if I was really going to go. I shrug in response walking into the house. He grabbed my wrist and turned me around before I could go upstairs.

       "Jacob seriously," He demanded an answer from me.

       "What do you want me to say, Axton, because I don't know what I'm going to do," I snapped at him ripping my wrist from his grip.

       "Why don't you know?" He snapped finally losing his cool. "Are you not happy? Are you sick and tired of me?"

       "This has nothing to do with you, Axton!"

       "But it does! You wouldn't be thinking about leaving if you wanted to be here!"

       "They're my parents asshole! I don't have to be with you every single day for fuck's sake! Besides didn't we already decide to move in together! I would only be there for a few weeks at the most! What's your fucking issue?!"

       "I'm scared!" He admitted before taking a deep breath to calm himself. "We as a couple have been doing great so far but that's only because we're around each other every day. I'm scared that if you leave you won't like me anymore."

       I grab his face and move to capture his lips with my own. As if I could suddenly stop liking this parasite. His hands went to my waist and mine to his hair as he deepened the kiss. My grip tightened on his hair and he let me go so I could breathe. I put my head on his chest and let out an audible sigh. I hit his chest once lightly and harder a second time.

       "You know what pisses me off about you?" I ask rhetorically. "You're supposed to be this suave chill guy but you're so fucking insecure. How am I going to forget about you? Especially after this afternoon. Did you think I let you do that to me out of pity? I like you, Axton."

       He kissed me and we stayed in our spot for a minute before someone clearing their throat interrupts us. My face becomes engulfed in heat as we notice his friends in the living room silently watching us. I hit him out of embarrassment he overreacted and flail as if I had stabbed him. I scowl at his actions and he quickly apologizes. I go upstairs to change into some comfortable clothes. When I went back downstairs everyone was chatting and having a nightcap. Axton greeted me with his goofy smile and I couldn't help but blush.

       I shyly approach him and he sits me on his lap causing his friends to 'oo' at us. I ignore them by putting my head in his chest. He ran a hand absently across my back and I get entranced by the feeling. I quickly fall asleep in his arms

       The next morning when I woke up Axton wasn't in the bed with me. I check the clock and realized he must be a school seeing how it's eight thirty. Speaking of school, I get up taking the laptop from Axton's desk signing into my online school. They still had me at three days away from being able to attend classes which are actually five if you count the weekend. I blow a raspberry before getting up. I take a shower and go downstairs. Miss Bianca was there as was my mother.

       "I made you breakfast sweetheart," Miss Bianca says once she notices me.

       I thank her before walking to the kitchen. I find a whole wheat English muffin with egg white and avocado. I don't really like avocado but Miss Bianca says it'll help with some of my pregnancy symptoms. I sit at the island and eat silently. Miss Bianca comes over and get me a glass of orange juice and passes me some fruit salad that had granola and yogurt in it. I give her an appreciative smile in return. My mother clears her throat catching our attention. Miss Bianca ruffles my hair before leaving us to talk. My mother sits beside me and runs a hand over my head loving.

       "I love you, Jacob," She says as she continues to stroke me.

       "Now you do?" I snort in response.

       "Jake," She called as a warning making me roll my eyes.

       I abruptly stood up startling her. "I'm not hungry," I tell her but before I could get away she latches onto my wrist.

       "I'm sorry but please eat...for your baby," She says pulling me back to the seat.

       I ignore her as I eat. I can feel him flipping around in my stomach happy I decided to stay and eat. Ever since the tiny kick he decided to bless us with I have been able to distinguish his movements between other things. Surprisingly he is actually very active and moves every second of the day. This also means he gets hiccups very easily. When I finished my breakfast I clean up after myself and my mother follows me to the living room. We sit together and she begins to talk.

       "Jacob, I love you, know matter what with all my heart," She starts off. "You know your dad is ten years older than me. When we began dating my father didn't approve and kicked me out of the house for being a fast girl but I was in love. Your father asked me what the difference between me and my father is as we both kicked our child out for being in love. I realized then that there isn't one. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Jakey. I love you so much," She said taking me into her chest as I began to cry.

       I grip her shirt tightly as I sobbed. I repeat the same sentence: you hurt me. I say it over and over again until she begins to cry as well. We sat on the couch for a good hour crying our eyes out. I sniffle and release her first as she was still trying to regulate her breathing. We laughed it off afterward. She wipes my tears before brushing my hair behind my ear.

       "Are you willing to come back?" She asked

       "I'll ask Axton what he thinks about it," I sniffle and she frowns slightly.

       "Why do you need his permission?" She asks me

       "Believe it or not Mom, but I'm not really gay. In fact, had it not been for Axton I don't think I would ever be able to another guy. I didn't start liking him until recently but he has liked me since forever. He's afraid if I leave then my feelings will not stay the same," I explain to her and she laughs

       "He's an insecure thing ain't he?" She says making me laugh as well.

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