The Babysitter

- 12 -

(Dallon's POV)

"I'm so stupid! What is wrong with me?"

I can hear Brendon's words through his sobs crystal clear from outside his bedroom door. I know eavesdropping on Brendon and Mason's conversation was probably not my best idea ever, but a part of me just had to know he was okay.

"Brendon, look at me. You're not stupid, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you." Mason says sternly. I'm is still extremely confused with the situation, not having heard the beginning of the conversation.

"I f-fucked up. I really d-did. I-"

'Here we go' I thought to myself. I had no idea where any of this was headed and part of me felt I should probably walk away. I was completely invading his privacy and I knew very well it was wrong. But the shaky breaths coming from Brendon had my feet glued to the floor.

"Brendon, you don't have to explain anything to me." Mason cut him off.

"No. Mason. I'm... gay"

Hearing that word come from Brendon's mouth was almost refreshing in a way. Brendon was taking steps to accepting himself and I had only wished I could've been like that with my family. But that aside, I was angry with myself having overheard Brendon's confession, it was a private conversation that I should not have heard and now my conscience was ridden with deserving guilt.

After that I walked away from the door, already having heard too much. I wanted to forget what he had said, erase it completely from my memory. But the memory was very persistent to remain at the forefront of my mind.

With the thought engrained in my head, memories of past events were being thrown at me in heaps. Brendon had kissed me, and now I can't be certain it was all just a spur of the moment decision to pull me out of my panicking mess. Maybe there was some attraction lingering beneath his repressive exterior.

Thinking about Brendon's lips on his that night caused the corner of his mouth to twitch upwards slightly, forming an almost half-smile. Maybe he was right, that kiss was not fucking okay, it was magical.

It was very rare that someone came along that could comfort me with so much ease. It was almost as if just the feeling of his presence steadied my breathing and calmed me down all together. It was just his natural aura. You could  see the comforting nature in his eyes in the way he presents himself. He walks with so much confidence and pride, an inspiring trait if you ask me.

But that confidence was only a facade. He wasn't exhibiting the pride of Brendon Urie himself, but rather that imposter that he'd crafted in his repressive mind.

Before I knew it, I was already down the stairs and back in the living room with the rest of the Urie offspring aside from Brendon and Mason who had continued their brotherly conversation upstairs.

A conversation I should not have been within earshot of.

"Is he alright up there?" Kara speaks up, looking intently at me.

"I think Mason's got it under control," I reply, leaving out all details. But of course I'm not waltzing out of this that easily.

"Do you know what's going on with Brendon? He's seemed a little on edge lately, I'm really worried." She speaks again, her face practically screaming concern.

"I don't know exactly," I lie. I shouldn't have even heard that, so who am I to out him to his sister. "Maybe Mason will tell us, but knowing Brendon, he probably swore him to secrecy."

Kara sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right, if Brendon doesn't want to talk about it, I'm not going to force his hand."

Mason walks down the stairs, giving us a look that says, 'i handled it'. He sits down on the couch and starts the movie back up.

Things might have calmed down with Brendon, but now my stomach is definitely not calm. Everything was falling into order. I have my friends and I finally stopped feeling so alone. But now a part of me feels empty. And I think Brendon might have something to do with it.

A/N: okay sorry I died back there. I wasn't planning on continuing this but I had this short snippet saved so I decided to finish it a little. I'm not sure If I'll end up continuing this since I've kinda switched fandoms and started using ao3 (just to clarify panic! still owns my ass I'm just not riding theirs as much as I used to). Since this story has barely started, you probably won't receive an ending any time soon, unless I say fuck it, 10 year time jump!

But yeah, that's it. I hope you enjoyed this and sorry for any mistakes

bye m'loves <3