Duplication

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I have never given much thought of how my end as a clone would come, though it was expected in one-way or another.

 I was given more array of choices than an ordinary human being; to die of a disease, to die or ‘old age’ at about the age of only forty, be destroyed by an evolved animal during hunting, or to be ambushed by a ‘monster’ clone.

  Of death, I was given so many choices, but of anything else, I wasn’t.

 It was morbidly hilarious.

When I looked at it that way, Sorenson Sr. and I had a painful similarity- both without a choice.

 To keep my promise to stay within the radius, I only walked for about a meter, taking slow steps, and stopped, near enough to hear if danger approached for them, but not enough to be seen by them, and sank down on the ground, covering my face with my hands.

 The pendant hung in the air, dangling from my neck, the silver diamond-shaped ash case cold to touch.

  Caressing the case with my thumb, I leaned back and stared up at the canopy of dead trees, without any life in them. To leave my friends would be cowardly, but right then, the urge to let myself to be eliminated by a monster was so bad, it took all I had to suppress it.

  If I died, the pain would vanish. If I died, I would be with Heather, forever and after painlessly. Was there a special place for clones, when we died? If I died and met Nathan Sr., and Heather, I had a lot to talk to them about.

  Even if after death, it was complete darkness and nothingness, it was fine with me. In fact, a morbid euphoria tingled the tips of my fingers at the thought of being in nothingness.

  I kissed the cold silver pendant, and closed my eyes, imagining the nothingness, as though closing my eyes and letting the darkness roll in would be a perfect simulation.

  The pleasure of the darkness period was so great, and even my friends were out of my mind.

 Out of sight, out of mind.

  The pendant still around my fingers, I leaned back completely, and lied down on the ground, refusing to open my eyes and face the reality. 

  Oh say! Can you see by the dawn’s early light

What do proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming;

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,

O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there…

I remembered how the agony of the burning of my lungs and muscles while forcing myself to run had been completely obliterated by my national anthem.

After slipping my pendant underneath my shirt, feeling the coldness on my skin, I relaxed my muscles, uncurling my fingers at my sides.

Oh say! Can you see by the dawn’s early light

What do proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming;

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,

O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,