Where Hope Is Found

Past

"How long is it going to take?" Harry yelled from the bedroom.

I stood facing the mirror in my bathroom clothed in the dress that had arrived in a box that morning. I had taken it out with caution like it was a ticking time bomb. I wasn’t much of a dress girl, and Harry had great taste because it was absolutely beautiful, but that only led me to being worried I would dull its sparkle. When I put it on it fit like a glove, but I still felt so shy in it. I had never worn something quite like this before, and I couldn’t help but feel insecure. I turned around to look at the view from the back one more time. It hugged my curves in all the right places, and flowed freely in all the other ones. The fabric was extremely comfortable and soft. It was strapless and had a small v cut on the front of the chest lined in a white lace. It was a lovely dress.

“Charlotte!” Harry was so impatient.

“Just a moment!” I responded, voice cracking at the end with nerves. I ran my fingers through my hair uneasily one last time, the waves pulled back into a tight pony tail. I hadn’t noticed how long my hair had grown in the past month. It was amazing what actually using shampoo, conditioner, and taking care of your hair could do. I slipped into my heels, spritzed a tiny bit of perfume on my neck, and smoothed down my dress. With one last deep breath I braved myself to enter the bedroom. As I walked out I paused at the door, twiddling my thumbs. When Harry saw me his face made no reaction. It was the worst possible thing I could have imagined to happen. I felt like a deer in headlights and I was positive that at that moment I was the spitting image of one as well.

Before he could say anything I said hastily, voice shaking uncontrollably, “You don’t like it. I knew this wasn’t going to look well. I can go change…”

“No,” he said suddenly. With the same facial expression he rose from the bed and walked over to me, walking round in a slow motion and observing the fit. His fingertips lightly brushed around my waist where the dress hugged especially close and chills ran up and down my arms.

“Harry stop it, you’re creeping me out.” I didn’t know what else to say. In my mind though, I was begging him to continue. I wondered now more than ever what was going through his mind. The rush I got from when he acted like this, so intimate, was almost indescribable. I’m sure by now I was beet red and sweating like a sinner in church, but I would gladly deal with it if it meant being so close. If I thought I felt insecure in the bathroom that was nothing compared to the extremity of insecure I felt now. I was going to have to freshen up before we even left for the club. Harry being this close always led my imagination to running wild and free with no limits. If I acted on every feeling I got from being with him, then we would probably be acting like a married couple by now. I was timid though, so those dreams stayed just as that; dreams.

“Charlotte,” he said. “You look stunning.” His eyes were lit up, and I loved it when they were. It was hard to fathom that this was all a reaction to how I looked.

“Really?” I said quietly. At this point I just thought that he was being nice because he was my boyfriend. That’s what they were all supposed to say right? I had never heard of anything different.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit Lottie. I’m still unsure how you have been single all this time because in all honesty, if I saw you dressed in this out in public, I would probably come off as a complete creep because I wouldn’t be able to control myself.”

“Oh stop it.” In my mind I flashed back to the months before I had met Harry and knew exactly why I hadn’t attracted any male attention. Oily face, tangled hair, body odor I’m sure filled every room I entered, and unclean clothes that probably smelled like dog. I had slumped around looking like a homeless person.