Jokes

Cat jokes

Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning herself?
A. She's smoking a cigarette.
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?
A: a meowntain
Q: When is a lion not a lion?
A: When he turns into his cage!
Q: Why don't cats like online shopping? A: They prefer a cat-alogue.
Q: What do you call a flying cat?
A: I'm-paws-sible.
Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
A: I'm paw!
Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had a litter of mittens.
Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
Q: Who are cats going to vote for in November?
A: Hillary Kitten.
Q: Why shouldn't you kidnap the kitten, Keanu?
A: Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!
Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A: A car-pet
Q: What do tigers wear in bed? A: Stripey pyjamas!
Q: Why did the cat wear a dress?
A: She was feline fine.
Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
A: The purrpatrator.
Q: How do you get a wet pussy?
A: Put it in the shower.
Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
Q: What is smarter than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
A: To keep an eye on the mouse!
Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?
A: The Pink Panter Show!
Q: What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
A: You got to be kitten me.
Q: What is a cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrple!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A: A stripey jumper!
Q: What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A: A peeping tom.
Q: What did the alien say to the cat?
A: Take me to your litter.
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!
Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater!
Q: Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas?
A: Because he has sandy claws!
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: 'Pleased to eat you.'!
Q: Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? A: Just kitten.
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
Q: What is a French cat's favorite pudding?
A: Chocolate mousse!
Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!
Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
A: 'Claws.'
Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger?
A: A stri-ped!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater!
Q: What do you call a cat that wears make up? A: Glamourpuss. Q: What do cats like to read?
A: Cat-alogues!
Q. What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
A. A Furrari.
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: 'Pleased to eat you.'!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
Q: What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?
A: Bad Blood.
Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
A: Purrr-suasive.
Q: What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?
A: a duck-filled platy puss.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/catjokes.html