Mafia Princess

Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Four

Twilight...not mine (sigh).

Chapter 174

EPOV

I spent the morning sitting in the waiting room of Irina's office. I was nervous for Bella, but I knew she needed this. Shortly after one, Bella hobbled out of the office. Her eyes were red but she looked better. Irina gave me a brief smile and we left the office. "Can we go somewhere to talk?" Bella asked. "Someplace outside, preferably. I'm over being indoors and it's a nice day."

I nodded and drove us to Pike Place Farmer's Market. There was an outdoor café that would work. I dropped Bella off and parked my car on a nearby street. Jogging back, I saw that Bella was sitting outside, fussing with her braid. I smiled at the host before sitting across from her. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," she said, giving me a smile. "I'm sorry you had to deal with my breakdown. Again." I opened my mouth, but Bella held up her hand. "I want to say everything I have to say before you can talk. Please be patient with me, Edward." I nodded. "While I was in with Irina, I put an offer on a condo in downtown Seattle. Within a few moments, the offer was accepted and I am now the owner of a new place in Escala. It's small but it's secure and it's mine. I think part of the reason why I regressed was that I was in your place, without my Dad. I need to focus on something other than my healing, the loss of my father and feeling guilty over us."

"Guilty?" I asked.

"Yes, guilty. Edward, I love you very much, but I can't be what you want me to be right now. I'm not the same girl you knew three months ago. James, Riley and Aro took me and squashed her like a bug. I'm afraid of my own shadow and I need to stand on my own two feet," she shrugged. "So, once I close on my condo, I'm going to be moving out of your place and trying to pull myself together."

"I understand," I whispered, feeling like my heart was ripped out.

"Don't make this harder than it already is. Edward, you're the only person who makes me feel normal, but I can't rely on you. I need to rebuild my sense of self. I'm not breaking up with you. I just need a break. From everything. What killed me over the past few days was just how I wanted to be better and how my healing was taking so long. It's two step forward and a million steps back. Give me a month, amore."

"I can do that," I said, looking up at her. "It sucks but I get it. I really do. And know that I can be there in a heartbeat."

"I know you can, but I have to do this on my own," she said, giving me a sad half-smile. "Now, I'm closing in a week. We've got that long to pack up my shit in the house. Emmett said he'd handle that but I need your help to chauffeur me around to get furniture and stuff." I plastered on a fake smile and we spent the rest of the afternoon, discussing locations of where she wanted to buy her furniture from.

I went to work the next day. I wanted to help Bella, but I had pressing matters to attend to in the office. No, you don't. You're hiding, you coward. I called my mom, who was an interior designer, to go shopping with her. In a way, I wanted to distance myself from Bella because she needed it. Distance yourself? You're being a douche. It broke my heart but I had to do it for myself. I had to get used to the idea that possibly after that month, Bella wouldn't want me. I'd go back to being a workaholic and focus my mind on completing my law degree.

Friday after Bella told me that she was moving out, my mom stomped into the office. It was nearly nine at night and I was working on some background checks for a new case that fell into our laps. I couldn't be a part of the active investigation, but gathering information and researching, I could do. She slammed my laptop shut, scowling at me. "Why haven't you been home?"

"I've been home," I answered. "I've just got a lot on my plate."

"Bella thinks that you're mad at her," Esme growled.

"I'm not mad, just trying to adjust to her leaving," I grumbled. "If I had my way, I'd want her to stay but she said that she can't. I get that, Mom. But, it hurts to be around her when I know that she doesn't want my help or..."

"Edward, sweetie, I love you but Bella needs you more than ever," Esme sighed.

"Then, why did she say that she needed time away from me?" I asked, my temper mounting. "She's asking for a month. I'm giving it to her. I'm abiding by her wishes." She pursed her lips and nodded. "I'm going to help when she moves, but after that, I'm going to stay away. If it's too much to be around me, I don't want to force her."

"I don't understand her," Esme murmured. "I know she's dealing with a lot of shit, but to push away the one person who can help you?"

"Don't try to analyze it," I shrugged, the wall building up higher around my heart. "I've got to finish this report before I go." My mom huffed out a breath and left the office. I finished my report and arrived back at my condo by a little after ten. The condo was dark, as per usual. I walked through the space and it felt strangely empty. My body shuddered and I ran to my bedroom, expecting to find my Little One sleeping on the bed.

She wasn't.

She was gone.

A/N: Don't hate me. Please, don't hate me. Bella's up next, along with pictures of her new digs.

8_E-4