In Too Deep

Chapter 2

A/N: it might seem like I'm bashing self-harm in this, but I'm not. Luke simply does not understand it and I'm trying to stay in that mindset as I write him.

The next day, Jai avoided me. I don't really understand why, though. We're twins and we should be able to tell each other everything. I always whine to him when something is bothering me. I guess I always took it for granted that Jai never really complained.

"Jai!" I decided to yell through the house until he was forced to talk to me. "Jai! Jaaaaaaa-" I was cut off from my yelling by a hand harshly slapping over my mouth.

"What do you want, Luke?!" Jai hissed. Oh yeah, I had made him angry.

"I want to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you."

"Well, I could always tell Beau about a certain something." I threatened, knowing it would work. He flinched back at my words. He obviously didn't want our obnoxious older brother to know about his secret.

"Fine. C'mon." Jai jerked me up by my wrist and dragged me into his room. I looked around, finding it way cleaner than I was expecting. Usually it was an absolute mess. I could faintly hear Elvis playing in the background. That was never a good sign when it came to Jai.

"How's your arm?" I decided to ask immediately.

"Really, Luke? That's all you wanted." Jai monotoned. "Here! Look for yourself!" He shoved his sleeve up, letting me see how bad the damage truly was. It was worse than I thought it was, but less than it looked. He had deep scars everywhere on his arm. There was a thick bandage that looked like it had been haphazardly wrapped around his wrist.

"Here, let me see." I tugged him closer to me and started to unwrap his bandage before he jerked his arm back in frustration. "Jai?" I questioned.

"I don't want you to see it. It's too disgusting to even look at." Jai wouldn't make eye contact with me. It confused me slightly. One second he was perfectly fine, the next he looked like he was going to cry. "Just please try to forget about it, Luke." He begged.

"Jai, what's going on with you?" I asked him. This wasn't my twin. Sure, he had almost the same face as me, but I couldn't recognize him in this moment.

"Nothing!" His face contorted in pain and he took a step away from me. "Maybe I just want you to leave me alone."

"Haha. Very funny, Jai." I Laughed again what I thought was a joke.

"I'm serious, Luke." Jai's eyes started to tear up.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know." I started to pull him into a hug, but he just pulled away.

"I'm not in the mood right now, Luke." He whispered, staring out his window.

I nodded slowly before turning to leave. I didn't know why he suddenly seemed so different, but then I realized this is the way it's always been. Jai's always been selfish and a problem, I only became concerned because I learned he self-harmed. It was pretty selfish of him to cut himself. Did he even wonder how our friends and family would feel if they knew about it?

Later that night, we were having dinner with Beau. Jai hadn't really said much, and to be honest I don't think he was even paying attention to our conversation. Sometimes, I don't even know what to do with him. It's like he can be normal for awhile. Like he's almost a good person. Then, he'll do something like this. Where he's just being overall difficult.

"Have you started sleeping again, Jai?" Beau suddenly asked, looking concerned for Jai. Had I missed something? Since when had Jai not been sleeping? He loved to sleep.

"Huh?" Jai blinked, suddenly paying attention again. "Oh yeah. I'm fine, Beau." He then went back to stabbing the food on his plate.

"You sure? You seem a little off..."Beau trailed off. How did Beau of all people notice something wrong with Jai, but not me?

"Well, Mum over there was harassing Me earlier." Jai pointedly looked at me. Sometimes, I forget just how evil he truly is.

"Mhm. I'm not getting into that one." Beau chuckled. I tried to make eye contact with Jai, but he turned his head away.

"You're really gonna be like that?" I had tried helping him, but he obviously couldn't stop being a jerk long enough to accept my kindness. He shot me a glare. I swear!

"Sorry we can't all be perfect like you, Luke." Jai sassed. "Some of us actually enjoy being decent human beings instead of isolating ourselves from society and watching chick flicks all of the time." Where did that even come from?

"That was a good one, Jye!" Beau cackled, causing both of us to glare at him. "You left him speechless!"

"I'm done." Jai surprisingly was the one to get up from the table first. It was weird because he had just won the argument.

"You've barely even touched your food, though." I yelled after his retreating figure. Beau gave me a sad look.

"Just try to understand him, Luke. He's having a rough time right now." Beau spoke kindly to me.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked a little irritated that he knew but I didn't.

"I don't know. Something just hasn't been right for awhile now."