Under the Lights | j.b

(s)he'z(a) liar

A/N I'm about to fall asleep so please excuse any mistakes. I'll re-read in the morning.

I was trying really really hard to concentrate on what Lauren was saying. Really. I was. 

But every so often my mind drifted and I found my gaze shifting from Lauren's face to my eerily quiet phone on the table. 

Justin had finished his first leg of his world tour and had a ten day break before resuming in Asia, and then Australia. 

The last time I had spoken to him was the day after his final concert in Costa Rica when he had texted me to tell me he was spending his time off with family and friends and probably wouldn't have reception for the duration of his holiday. 

That was one week ago and I hadn't realised just how much of my day was spent either talking to Justin or waiting til I could talk to Justin. Things had been so well between us lately. It was weird not to be talking to him everyday. 

I was undoubtedly pathetic. 

"Jesus, Sasha." Lauren poked my arm to get my attention.  "Are you even listening to me?" 

"Yes, yes sorry," I smiled apologetically, looking back at her again.

Lauren eyed me warily. "Are you alright?" 

"Yes," I picked up the menu in front of me, "What's good here?" 

The stress of renovations, the New Year and university offers were now behind me and I had fallen back into my old routine. 

One of which involved breakfast with the girls every Saturday morning. Except today, since Emma had volunteered to babysit her niece and Maddie was in Cairns visiting family before we started Uni next week, it was just me and Lauren. 

A waitress with sparkly purple nails took our order and I decided on smashed Avocado on toast and Lauren opted for pancakes with fresh fruit. 

"So," Lauren trailed off, when we were alone at our table again. "How are things going with Justin?" 

My heart clenched like it always did when I thought about Justin. But this time felt worse, probably because I seriously missing him. 

"It's okay, still trying to navigate through it all." I hated lying, so I tried my hardest to be truthful without giving too much information away. 

"It's so weird how you guys met! And then I can't believe he just happened to be in Paris at the same time as you." My best friend told me. 

A few nights after meeting Justin, I realised he hadn't been in France by coincidence at all. He had just finished a show the night Alyssa had seen him at the restaurant.

"Yeah," I smiled forcefully, wanting nothing more than to just tell Lauren the truth about everything. Out of all of us, she was the most in touch with her feelings and a benefit to that was that it meant she always gave the best advice. 

"OK, what's going on?" Lauren eyed me suspiciously, before her green eyes widened slightly. "Is Will trying to text you again?" 

Will... There was a name I could happily go my whole life without hearing. "No." I tried not to sound so harsh, but thinking about Will automatically dampened my mood. 

"Then what is it?" She questioned, and then tensed slightly. "Are you mad at me?  I know you said the past is the past, but I swear on my life that I didn't know what he was going to do." 

Lauren was visibly upset and I hated it. She had nothing to be sorry for. I especially couldn't stand that even after a year, what happened with Will was still getting between us. 

"No, Lo, there's nothing wrong OK?" I said solemnly, but not unkindly. "I believe you. I believed you back then and I believe you now." 

Lo nodded, took a long, shaky breath and tried to smile. "I wonder what's taking the food so long." 

It wasn't a subtle change in subject, but it was necessary for the sake of both our sanity. Talking about Will took too much out of us, which is why after everything went down we had avoided the subject in its entirety. 

"I don't know, but I really have to go toilet. Watch my stuff for me?" I asked, referring to my phone, wallet and car keys.

"Sure thing." 

I left the table in search of the bathroom, weaving my way through the set up of tables, chairs that people were having their lunch on. 

When I got back to our table, my meal was waiting for me and I sat down eagerly. 

"Thank God the food's here, I'm starving---- Is that my phone?" She had put it down as I was talking, but I already recognised my green phone case. 

"Yes, sorry, It went off and I thought it might be something important. But it was just Alyssa." Lauren explained, reaching for her juice to take a sip. 

Under normal circumstances, I would have believed her. I didn't have an issue with my friends going on my phone, they new my passcode and I knew all of theirs. 

But this was before I had to protect the fact that I was talking to Justin. He and I hadn't really talked about it in detail, but I had signed a contract swearing that besides Alyssa, I couldn't tell any one else that we were kind of dating. 

I tried to hide my discomfort with an awkward laugh, "She's so co-dependant. She can't deal without texting me every ten minutes to check where I am." 

Lauren handed me my phone and I read that I had two unseen texts. 

Aly🐍🐍a: Don't go on Twitter.

Aly🐍🐍a: Or instagram. 

"What's wrong?" Lauren's tone was laced with concern. 

"I don't know." I answered truthfully. Placing my fork down so I could text with two hands, I sent Lyssa a message. 

🐽Sasha🐽: Why? What's happened?

Aly🐍🐍a: Just trust me. We can talk about it when you're home, and not in public. 

🐽Sasha🐽:  You're scaring me. 

🐽Sasha🐽:  Please just tell me. 

Aly🐍🐍a: Where are you?

🐽Sasha🐽: I'm having lunch with Lauren near mermaid beach, why?

Aly🐍🐍a: I'll come get you.

🐽Sasha🐽: It's okay I brought my own car, just tell me what's going on? 

Aly🐍🐍a: You have to promise me you won't check, not until you get home first. 

This was bad. This was very bad. I couldn't help but panic at the thought that something had happened to Justin, and since Alyssa knew me well enough to know I'd freak out in public, she wanted to wait til I was in the privacy of my own home before relaying the bad news. 

My chest felt constricted. Probably because my heart was literally thumping on inside my rib cage. My breakfast was completely forgotten, honestly, I was just trying to focus on how to keep breathing. 

Shit. 

I was reacting like this and I didn't even know what had happened. Alyssa was right, I needed to be home first. 

🐽Sasha🐽: I promise. 

Lauren's watchful gaze turned sympathetic, she recognised that I was trying to calm down and thankfully refrained from asking what was wrong again. 

My phone vibrated in my hands and I looked, expecting it to be Alyssa again. 

Chandler Bing: lucky

Chandler Bing: i can explain

****

🙃