Camping ~ a Joel Dommett FanFiction

SILLY CALLA

I can't sleep.

I don't know whether it's because of the coffee I drank just before dinner or because of the thumping of my heart, the tightness of my chest.

I feel this immense sense of yearning, I want him, I need him, but I know that I would only weigh him down. After all, we are polar opposites. I'm introverted, he's extroverted, I'm careful, he's a risk taker, I like to move slowly in relationships whereas I feel he likes to move fast. There. Polar opposites.

I yawn, sitting up in bed after two hours of trying to unsuccessfully fall asleep. I look over at the clock and sigh when I see that it's two in the morning. Ugh. I feel groggy and disgusting, I need to sleep, but I can't, I'm too busy thinking, weighing up the pros and the cons of starting a relationship, not specifically with Joel but with anyone, am I ready yet?

Despite being wide awake I'm exhausted all the same.

So exhausted that I don't notice myself crawl out of bed and trudge out of my bedroom, pull open Joel's door and wander over to his bedside.

His pyjama bottoms are loose around his legs, chest bare, hair messy against the pillow. He's asleep, cocooned in the red duvet.

I watch him for a few seconds, watch as every breath enters his lungs and every inch of air leaves them.

I yawn once more, imagining how warm he must be, how comfortable.

And then I do the unthinkable.

I walk around the side of the bed and clamber in beside him, snuggling down into the mattress.

I yawn again, pulling the duvet around my shoulders.

:-:-:-:

I wake up with my arm on Joel's chest and our feet entwined.

"Sleep well?" Joel raises his eyebrow.

I yawn, "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and I-"

Joel chuckles, picking up my hand and taking it in his, "Im not complaining, don't apologise."

Silence.

Joel looks directly into my eyes.

"Calla-" He begins to say and I know exactly what he wants, a kiss, and I want it too, but again, it'll only end in heartbreak.

I wriggle away and jump up, "Breakfast? I'll make some now."

Joel sighs as I run away. Again.

:-:-:-:

I put the plates on the table as someone clears their throat behind me. Joel.

I turn to see him fully dressed, a suitcase behind him.

"Joel?"

Joel looks down at the floor. "Calla, this isn't fair."

"What?"

"You and me. I feel like a dog, whenever you want or need me you call but whenever I-"

"What on earth are you banging on about?" I awkwardly chuckle, bringing over two glass tumblers.

"You, making me feel like there could be an 'us', giving me false hope. It's not fair." Joel shuffles on his feet, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Joel stop." I interrupt, slamming down the orange juice carton.

"No Calla! I can't do this! You know how I feel and I know that you feel the same."

"How can you say that? You don't know what I'm bloody thinking!" I shout, running my fingers through my slightly greasy hair.

"You've been leading me on since the jungle!" Joel shouts back, stepping closer towards me, his hands shaking.

"Well, maybe I'm unsure! Maybe I haven't fully made up my mind!" My throat is beginning to hurt from all the screaming.

"I wish you'd bloody hurry up! This isn't fair on me! None of this is fair!"

"And what about me Joel? What about how I feel? I've seen your ex girlfriends, I'm nothing like them!"

Joel steps closer again. "What does that have to do with anything?!"

"It has everything to do with it, you have a type and I don't fit it! You'll get bored and leave me like everybody else!"

"Type? What type?!"

"Huge tits, plastic surgery, half a brain, that's your type! I've seen them all!"

"Calla, you're acting crazy! Just shut up and let me kiss you!"

Joel's eyes are watery as he runs his thumb along my jaw tenderly and tentatively, before gently placing his lips on mine and kissing me deeply, his left hand rubbing the small of my back, making me feel secure and safe.

We pull apart and the first thing I can think to say is, "Who's acting crazy now?"

Joel rubs his nose against mine, "Sorry for raising my voice." He whispers huskily against my cheek.

"Sorry for shouting." I whisper back.

Joel moves away, staring blankly at the suitcase on the floor.

"Will you stay?" I query.

Joel shrugs, "That depends on whether you're willing to let me take you out this afternoon?"

I mimic his shrugging action, "That depends on where you will take me."

Joel chuckles and pulls me into his chest, hugging me tight, "Silly Calla." He mutters into my hair.

Silly Calla.