PURE HEROIN

I.

O1 | Prologue | Pure Heroin

You all refer to us generically. Calling us by name would admit that we have personality, individuality or even a soul.

There are those of us who live on the fringes of society who occasionally peer in. Our hopes and curiosity have survived the addiction; we need our 'society fix'.

We hear what you say; you call us insects. No better than a flattened cockroach, stuck to the bottom of your leather soled shoes by its own lifeless fluids.

I lived in a crack house, existed with crack addicts and became a crack addict.

This was my fate.

It was determined before I was conscience enough to make decisions, that I would live my life on the edge of what was considered civilization.

I remember my first hit.

I observed as I drew the smoke in from the bottle, slowly at first to draw in the crack until the chamber was filled with creamy smoke, In which I would breath it in fast and deep.

The trick was to hold it in your lungs as long as possible. The longer you could hold your breath with the sweetness in your lungs the higher you could get.

Initially I was hesitant; but the urge to try it had become stronger as I had nothing left to live for. Then, in a moment of forced confidence and driven by desire and desperation I took the substance into my body.

At first it was relaxing, I felt like I was floating, content, I felt a sense of self actualization that I had previously only dreamed of. After five minutes a rush of excitement surged through me like a rocket heading for outer space.

It was thrilling and I flew higher and higher almost to the ceiling before I came to a comfortable rest against the once hard walls that now felt as comfortable as a thousand thread count sheets.

It was in essence, pure unadulterated bliss.

I was addicted after that, it was like I had been fed for the first time.

She was not sure how long she had been in this alley. Could be days, hours, who really knows? laying on her side on a simple dirty matt on the ground watching numbly as water droplets equivalent of a tear drop fell from the cracked roof into a puddle nearby.

The junkie's high was wearing off now, and she was certain of this. Reality would come crashing in reminding her of memories that she wished to be forgotten. she dreaded that time where she remembered. Remembered who she was, all she had, what she could have been.

"How long did you think you could play us dawg? Didn't think I would find out huh?"

The fiend sprang up reflexively pressing herself against the edge of the chipping green garbage bin, startled by the sound of people in the once quite alley.

Another voice chuckled darkly "No. I knew you would. You were always to goddamned nosy Aj. Even for your own good..."

"Fredo took you in man! That nigga put you on-"

"FUCK THAT NIGGA FORREAL! Yall treat that nigga like he's God."

Gripping the side of the garbage she peeked out from her hiding spot watching the two. The one called "Aj" was caramel skinned with dreads hanging down his wiry frame. The other one was much taller and darker in skin tone with a low fade.

The darker one pulled out a small hand gun and took it off safety pointing it at the center of Aj's chest.

"Man what the fuck you doing!?" Aj exclaimed backing up slightly.

The guy chuckled, a sadistic smile adorning his face. "You really think I am bout to let you just walk up out this alley? Knowing the shit that you know?"

"Cai-" Before Aj could finish his plea he had already sqeased the trigger.

Two shots rang out into the silence causing the flock of pigeons resting to flutter up in shock extending their wings into the evening sun. The fiend clamped a dirty hand over her mouth in horror as she watched Aj's body stagger backwards crumpling to the ground.

A strangled sob sounded in her throat muffled by the hand she placed over her mouth. Aj's killer turned lifted his head abruptly looking in her direction.

She quickly pulled her head back squishing herself against the wall behind the dumpster. The fiend's heart raced inside of her chest thumping hard against her rib cage as she tried to still her breathing. She could feel his hard gaze through the dumpster that separated them. A fine trail of goose bumps rose along her skin as she shivered quietly.

His shoes crunched over the tiny gravel as he made his way closer to the hiding spot. He stopped just an inch away from discovering her and trembling she watched as a few pebbles rolled against her leg.

He stood there for a moment before tucking his gun back into his jeans and slowly shaking his head. He turned away answering his phone.

"Yea?"

The fiend exhaled quietly thanking who ever resided in the skies for saving her flippant excuse of existence as he walked out of the alley.

"...I handled it. That nigga won't be singing to anybody." He chuckled, his footsteps getting fainter and fainter.

She waited a beat before grabbing her torn backpack filled with the little belongings that she now possessed and scurried over to Aj's body.

Placing her hands against his neck I checked for a pulse. She found one although very faint. He stared at her his eyes hooded choking on the blood that trickled from his mouth.

Gingerly the fiend leaned his head up a bit cradling it in her lap. "Stay with me.. I- I'm gonna get help.. I promise."

Her high still had her buzzed but it was slowly coming down. Leaning him against the wall the fiend scrambled up digging in the pockets of her pants looking for the two quarters that she had found some time ago. Her fingers grazed of the cool metal before she enclosed them in her palm.

Running out of the alley she pushed pass pedestrians hearing them swear loudly and curse the gutter she crawled out from. The fiend however, could not be bothered by none of it as she approached the payphone inserting the two quarters as fast as her trembling hands would allow.

She dialed 9-1-1 silently begging them to pick up faster.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"

"Someone has been shot! In an alley please help! He's dying! Ple-"

"Slow down mam. Where are you calling from?" The woman dispatcher demanded.

She looked around searching for a street sign. "...Uh..On the corner of Crenshaw and Dane Avenue. Please hurry."

"Stay on the line with me mam help is on the way."The policewoman assured her.

"I can't..I- sorry I have to go."

"Mam-"

"I'm sorry. " she hung up the payphone noticing for the first time her blood stained hands. Wiping them feverously along her shirt she shoved them into her pockets before briskly walking in the next direction and hoping that the man in the alley made it through.

The fiend needed a fix to suppress this with the other memories that she wanted so badly to forget. Although a gut feeling told her that this time she would not be so lucky.