The Quiet Voice | Complete

Chapter 17

Chelsea's heart was shattered by shock of losing her baby girl and things between her and Jonathan were strained. She knew that the only way that she would cope, and get through her current situation, would be to find peace and healing in the presence of God. And that was exactly what she did.

For the next two weeks, she spent most of her time having quiet time with God. She would sit reading her Bible, speaking to God and writing in her spiritual journal, often losing complete track of time for hours on end.

Day after day she felt Jonathan slipping further and further away from her. Some days would go by without them even seeing each other. Living like two ships passing in the night.

But through it all she kept speaking with God and trusting in His plans for her life, even though it was extremely difficult to submit most days.

Oh God, she prayed, please bring him back to me. I don't understand where it all went wrong. What have I done to deserve this?

And even though her heart was breaking, she had a quiet sense of peace deep within her. She knew that God was in control and that everything would work out just as it should.

She was sitting in their bedroom one day having quiet time when Jonathan came home earlier than expected from work.

Oh God please give me the strength to deal with the situation with Jonathan. Please put the right words in my mouth. Her final prayer before facing Jonathan gave her the strength she needed to be brave and lay her heart on the table.

"Hello Chelsea," she heard from behind her as she rose from her knees after her prayer session. "How are you feeling today?"

She turned around and found Jonathan standing in the doorway, his eyes studying her as if to gauge her mood.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him, realising just how much she loved him.

Oh Lord, please guide me, she prayed to herself as she walked towards him and he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm doing better thank you," she answered still in his arms. "How are you feeling?"

Just then his phone vibrated as a message came through. He let go of Chelsea as he picked the cellphone up to see who the message was from.

"The guys want me to meet them at the gym," he mentioned as he started packing his gym bag. "I hope that's alright?"

"Of course, it is," reassured Chelsea, "it might do you some good to spend some time with the boys."

Chelsea was very happy that Jonathan had made some good friends at work. Friends that he could speak to when he was going through something that he didn't feel comfortable speaking to her about.

Jonathan threw his phone on the bed, and went to the laundry room to fetch his gym towel. Just then another message came through on his phone.

As she looked down at the screen she read:

Hi J, last night was amazing. I can't wait to see you again tonight. xxx

Chelsea's pulse quickened and she felt physically ill. Was Jonathan cheating on her?! Was there another woman?

Just then Jonathan came back into the room, pure innocence reflected on his face.

"Okay Babes, I'm going to leave now. Shouldn't be too late tonight" he said as he brushed her cheek with a light kiss, grabbed his gym bag and cellphone and left the bedroom.

A few minutes later she heard his car pulling out of the driveway.

Chelsea broke down in tears.

She fell to her knees leaning her elbows on the bed and spoke to God.

Oh Lord. Please! Not him too. I can't handle losing him too. Please don't let this be true. I've just lost my little girl and my heart simply can't handle anymore. He's all I have left. I have loved him for so long, I wouldn't know how to give him up. Please make him love me! Please make him chose me! I need to be the one that he loves, not this stranger. Please don't let him leave me for her!

Chelsea spoke to God all evening, letting all her hurt, pain and fears out for the first time since losing their child. She was so full of anger that most of what she was saying came out as tears and not real words. It was as if she was letting her emotions speak to God when her mouth couldn't find the words.

Chelsea felt exhausted. She was so busy laying her heart bare for the Lord that she completely lost track of time. When she eventually looked at the clock it was close to eleven o'clock. She hadn't even had dinner yet, not that she was hungry at all. She just felt empty and lost.

Chelsea showered and made herself a cup of camomile tea before settling into bed for the night.

Jonathan hadn't contacted her at all that evening. Not even a message to say that he would be out late with his friends or that they had decided to stop somewhere for dinner after their gym session.

It was midnight by the time she eventually put her Bible down, snuggled deeper under the covers and put the light off.

And Jonathan still wasn't home.

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Thank you for sharing another chapter in Chelsea's journey with me. I hope you enjoyed it. Poor Chelsea's life is really falling apart right now. I pray that God shows her His plan soon.

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