Dark (A Louis Tomlinson story.)

Chapter 62- Pain

Amanda's POV

Harry drove me back to his and Niall's place and helped me out of the car. I walked inside, going straight to the kitchen so I could wash the blood out of my mouth. I walked down the hallway and turned into the kitchen, bumping straight into Niall causing me to fall backwards onto my bum.

"Amanda, what happened? Are you okay?" Niall asked worriedly, picking me up off the floor and setting me down on my feet.

"I'm fine," I replied simply, not telling him what had happened between Louis and I.

I walked past him and into the kitchen, rinsing the blood out of my mouth. Harry handed me two pain pills that would stop my pounding headache and an ice pack to put on the back of my head where a bump was already forming. When Louis had thrown me to the ground I hit my head on the pavement, luckily it wasn't that hard that I hit it or else something serious could have happened. I sat down at the dining room table, holding the ice pack to my head as I shut my eyes. My life was going great, now it was like it was crumbling and falling apart right in front of me and I couldn't do anything but watch. Before I had a loving fiancé, two kids on the way, I was carefree, and I was happy but now I have no kids, I'm upset, and I don't even know if I want to marry Louis anymore.

Louis' POV

I picked myself up off the driveway after a few moments, wiping the tears out of my eyes and off my cheeks. I screwed up big time. I stumbled inside, biting my lower lip worriedly, I was afraid Amanda hated me and that she wouldn't want to marry me anymore. She had every right to hate me, I just hoped that she didn't. It was already getting pretty late and I figured Amanda wouldn't be coming home but I left the door unlocked so if she did decide to come home she could get inside. I walked into the kitchen where the groceries I had bought earlier sat on the counters and I began to put them away silently, letting my mind fill with thoughts and my emotions.

I had messed up badly. Not only did I yell at Amanda just because she wouldn't tell me where she was going, I hit her, I hurt my baby, I hurt the one thing in the world I actually cared about. Amanda is my whole world, she is my everything, I love her so much and I would honestly do anything for her yet I still hurt her like it was nothing. I'm actually scared at the fact that I didn't mind hurting her while I did it, obviously I feel terrible now but when I was hurting her I didn't care. I am so mad at myself for what I did to her, I could've done a lot worse but I was still mad that I hurt her, I never wanted to hurt her at all, not even the slightest bit. Seeing her hurt kills me, knowing I'm the cause of her pain is like getting stabbed in the heart with a knife repeatedly. The blade penetrating the skin and hitting right where it hurts over and over and over again. The pain is ongoing though, it's like I'm drowning but I can't die, like I'm drowning in a sea of pain and hatred but I never die, I never get away and I'm stuck there forever hating myself and hurting from knowing that I hurt the one thing in this world that made me feel alive, Amanda.

I finished putting the groceries away and literally dragged myself up the stairs and into our bedroom, collapsing onto the bed. I slid under the warm covers, pulling them up to my chin as I stared out at the complete darkness that enveloped me. I couldn't stop thinking about Amanda. The shocked and hurt face she made when I slapped her kept replaying in my head like a broken record and it made me want to scream out and cry. I stared at the black, dark ceiling, tears trailing down my face until I ended up crying myself to sleep.

**

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, Amanda hadn't come home last night just like I expected. I slid out of bed and slowly walked down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen. I stopped in the middle of the hallway, something catching my eye in the other room. I took a few steps backwards, peering into the living room. A few suitcases were placed on the couch and the chairs, my eyes widened as I realized those were Amanda's suitcases. I hurried into the room just to catch Amanda dragging a suitcase out the front door.

"What're you doing?" I asked her as she returned to the living room to grab another suitcase.

"I'm leaving Louis, you hurt me and I don't want to live with someone that I'm afraid will hurt me," she replied quietly, looking up at me for a moment before tears welled up in her eyes. She turned away quickly in an attempt to hide the tears but I still saw a few trail down her cheeks.

"You don't have to leave Amanda, please don't leave me. You don't have to be afraid of me, I love you so much and I'm so sorry for hurting you, I don't know what happened. I never meant to hurt you, I never want to hurt you again. I feel terrible Amanda, you're my everything and without I'm nothing, I have nothing. You make me happy, you make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me want to live, please don't leave me," I whispered as I walked over to her, taking her hand gently.

Amanda pulled her hand away from mine without looking at me. "I can't stay Louis, I can't trust you anymore, to be honest you scare me and I don't want to be scared everyday for the rest of my life," she murmured, picking up another suitcase.

"Well, at least tell me where you're going to go," I mumbled.

"No, I don't need to tell you Louis," she replied.

"Amanda, just tell me where you're going," I said.

"I don't want to tell you," she replied, dragging the suitcase towards the door.

"Just tell me Amanda," I said through clenched teeth.

"No Louis," she said as she reached the door.

"Tell me!" I yelled as I pushed her up against the wall, pinning her there, forcing her to look at me.

"I'm staying with a friend," Amanda replied angrily, glaring at me as she tried to pull away.

"Who? Harry and Niall?" I asked, my teeth still clenched together tightly.

"No, a different friend," she replied quietly.

"Who?" I asked.

She opened her mouth to reply but shut it again when she heard a car door slam shut in the driveway. "Amanda, are you ready to go?" A familiar voice called before the one person I absolutely hated appeared in the doorway. Zayn Malik.

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Two updates in one day after not updating for a month, I'm pretty happy with myself. But today at my basketball game I got punched in the eye for no reason, like I turned around and the girl just punched me in the eye, her nail actually jabbed me in the eye which didn't feel good. I have a black eye, the girl's nails cut the skin around my eye, and my eye is all red and disgusting from her jabbing her nail into my eye, just to make it even better I can't see out of it. -_-