1001 Ways To Annoy People

(27) Ways To Annoy People Over Text

So this chappie is going to be a bit longer with the pages and what not (UGH that sounds old XD) because I gave examples of some of the text messages. This was super fun to write and none of the examples are encouraged or have happened in my life! Be safe little pineapples while texting and such. AND BTW WE GOT TO 2000 READS ON THIS BOOK. I want to give you all hugs... and we can have a picnic with taco's and enchiladas. But inside cuz I hate nature :)

1. Say 'LOL' after everything. (Works best if its seriously wasn't funny.)

2. Spam them with pictures of cats eating taco's.

3. Show your feeling of hatred towards them through emoji.

4. Whenever you start a conversation, be the safe and caring friend you are, start by asking if they are texting and driving (bonus points if your in the same room.)

5. Say everything in acronyms (HOLY CRAP I SPELLED 'ACRONYMS' RIGHT!). Brb, got2p, syl, L8rh8r, MOS, ily... ECT.

6. Spell everything wrong then complain about their bad grammor. <<< AHAHAHAHA its 'GrammAr.

7. Read all of their messages but don't reply.

8. Make up words. Sweg.

9. Plan your world domination and send the plan to someone then act all freaked out like you didn't mean to send it. (Ima do this later... heh)

10. Start crying dramatically through emoji then when someone asks whats wrong, say you lost your phone O.O

11. When your having a heart to heart convo keep spamming them with really strange words. Unicorn waffles. Cheese cake pillows. Flying lawnmower on drugs.

12. Only use letters to explain your feelings. Y (Yes) N (No) W (Why) S (Shut your arse up right now befo I come in your house and eat your hamster.)

13. Take the longest possible route when trying to send a simple answer to a question. 

Question: You you like dogs?

Answer: I prefer yorkies but I also like pit bulls but then again my aunt Cindy just got a poodle and I don't want to be hater or anything so I cant go and hate on poodles so I mean come on? But speaking of poodles, there was a random cat outside my friend house the other day and then I started sneezing like when Sakura gets near mint leaves. I really don't like house cats though they are so annoying like 'Oh ima rub my face all over that book you got there. May I eat you?' so its like... no. Do you like closets or car washes?

14. Send the most unnecessary emoji for the moment. A pill, girl kissing her boyfriend, foreign language symbols, numbers and arrows.

15. If someone doesn't respond within 6.4 seconds go all insane bitch on them with spamming.

Hi.

Sup.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Want to come over and we can dance to 1D?

I'm bored.

Human?

Hello?

You there?

I'm so alone.

#ForeverAlone

I know where you live.

I don't understand. Answer me!

I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

I'm going to your house right now.

I'm going to tell your mother about the pelican accident.

She agreed to take you to rehab on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

I get to come along! WHOOP! Were going to see each other all the time now...

Forever... and ever... and ever... I love you.

16. When talking to stranger (Not quite encouraged...) make yourself look like this wealthy rich kid with more money than seconds lived. 

17. When you talk to your crush fan-girl the whole time ignoring what they are even saying.

18. Make everything 2000x times more dramatic than they really are.

So my dad like totally hates me. He told me to make my bed and so I told him to go and live in a box so he got upset and told me to please make my bed. He started crying huddling in the corner while looking his wedding picture of my mom who moved to Alaska and then I went and punched his face and ate all his slim-jims then went and got a tattoo of my dead cat, Shmuckinmoo the size of my face. ON MY FACE. Can I have your baby?

19. Cry awkwardly to all of your contacts because you dont know what to name your pet rock. (Gerrold, Natuki, Sayu, Ryuzaki, Jellal, Kira, Erza, Ryuk.) < Real Japanese names... not Gerrold. The rest :D

20. Recited the bible at awkward silences. And he said... 'LET THERE BE LIGHT!'

21. When someone calls or texts you and its a blocked number say 'Jims whore house. You got the dough we got the hoe.'

22. Start chanting death poems to a your mom while rubbing Nutella all over your body.

23. Make everything a hash tag. #LifeProbs #Why #ShootMeNow #NeverMind #IWillKillYouSoonEnough #StarvationOrKnifeToHeart  #YourChoice #ImComingToYourHouse #ISeeYou #ImGoingThroughYourStuff #ImTakingYourDollar #YourComingOutOfTheShower #ILikeYourUnderwear #StabStab Okay enough of those... XD

24. Smile like a pedo and lick your lips seductively every time someone texts you. (Bonus points if your in church).

25. Hate on Obama to Obama.

26. Scream compliments at people.

27. #DontHurtYourSelfSillyPineapple