I shall be refuring to Germaphobes (Like myself...) as 'Germy(ies)' and OCD people (Also a horrible trait of mine) as 'Fluffy(ies)'
Germaphobes are obsessed with sanitation and feel compelled to clean excessively, but they're really suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Also make sure you check the picture :)
~~ ENJOYYY~~
1. Show a fluffy a picture of the leaning tower of Pisa and hiss, "LOOK HOW SYMMETRICAL IT ISSSS!"
2. When you go to hug a germy, whisper (while still hugging them) "I bet you didn't feel me lick your ear, did you?"
3. If you go into a fluffies house, if they leave the room, just slightly 'adjust' their picture frames and knik-knacks to your desire. Trust me. They won't notice.
4. Pretend to have super bad allergies and wipe your snotty nose on your hand then touch their stuff and just eww.
5. FORCE A GERMY TO WATCH VIDEOS ON WHAT FAST-FOOD IS MADE OF. OMG I STARTED CRYING.
6. Swap out tiles or easily moved things that are noticeable to make everything look off.
7. In a fluffies home, change the way all of the shoes sit. (Left shoe on right and right shoe on the left).
8. Just hang up random pictures of hamburgers or other greasy foods in their rooms. Ignore it and deny seeing it.
9. Replace all the tissues with sandpaper.
10. Take the family pets' fur (after creepily collecting it) and make a collage out of it.
11. Flip around random letters on your friends homework so it's fluffy ;)
12. If you ever get close to one of either category, smile happily at them and coo, "You smell different when awake."
13. In the kitchen, mix random liquids together (mayo, ketchup, soy-sauce?) and just let it sit there.
14. Switch a fluffies clothing with another family members. (Put their brothers clothes in theirs or something :D)
15. Get a plastic sticker of a spider and put it on the buttom of their cup so when they are done with their drink... nfuvbeiwb uqniu.
16. When inviting a germy over, clean everything so well its suspicious, then in one specific room have it so unbelievably gross and repulsive, it will blow their mind.
17. Only group things in a strange number like '7'. A bowl of 7 apples. Have seven bottles of waxing cream. Seven children watching you.
18. Sort things by color. Not anything too intense; just put random orange pillows in a corner, an orange cup, along with a slightly decomposed body with an orange shirt on.
19. Put a Germy in a room with a bunch of sick people.
20. Move a Flufies living room funiture.
21. Steal all the soap and cleaning objects and make them look for it.
22. Start laughing really hard and refuse to tell people the reasoning.
23. Wear shiny new clothes but have have dirty green and brown shoes. #Hypocrite
24. Don't leave your house for 3+ days because 'everyone is infected'.
25. Ask a Fluffie some of the hardest questions like 'what the meaning of life is'.
26. Writing baking instructions but write the list out of order.
27. Hide the words 'Will' 'You' 'Me' all around the house in obvious places. Keep your Fluffies partner busy for a few hours with that one.
28. Walk out of the bathroom without washing your hands then play with either groups hair.
29. Ask a germy 'How much blood do you think splatted out of Sherlock Holmes's head when he committed suicide?'. This is the most effective when they are in the Sherlock or SuperWhoLock fandom.
30. Show them the statistics from your Skyrim game of how many bunnies you've slaughtered.
31. Talk about the bug ingredients that were part of your dinner.
32. Plant crumbs around the house in a trail that ends up being a large circle.
33. Innocently lay pencils on a table. Make sure they are all facing the same direction except few select ones that lay upside down. That will drive anyone insane.
34. When you see a fluffy was making a check list, just add onto the bottom of their finished list, 'Last box unchecked' with a small box next to it.
35. Whisper 'Deduction Sensation...' in their ear.
36. When in a fast-food drive through constantly assure the talking box that takes your order that is 'to go'.
37. Stick the flat Lego pieces tightly together.
38. Click your pen cap aggressively. When people tell you to stop, explain to them that its a birth disorder. Your incapable of speaking without tapping your pen.
39. Leave your right turn signal on for 37 miles.
40. Wear a bike helmet all day everyday. Explain its for your space training.
41. Type only with your pinky.
42. Declare your room an independent nation, and threaten to sue your siblings upstairs for "violating your airspace."
43. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
44. Finish all your sentences with the words "or so I read in the Bible."
45. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Morgan Freeman voice, but mess up the simple things.
*He chops up the carrots for soup*, So you naturally say, "The murderer slides the murder weapon through the veggie to make it look like he was cooking to hide the evidence..."
46. At a family gathering, wear a bunch of dirty spikes to avoid the hugs from your one annoying relative.
47. Use terrible grammar when your texting but change how you say your words every time.
48. Lerk behind you every few secernds and whisper, 'They are here. They be coming."
HA! See what I did there? Look up. You saw it. Your inner OCD refused to ignore it...
49. Ignore the fact that im going to stop this at '49' and not 50. Deal with it, Fluffies.
YOU ARE READING
1001 Ways To Annoy People
Teen FictionOne day I thought, 'Wow I'm just really annoying... I should write a book on it!' That's how it happened. Satisfied?
