"What a strange being you are.."
Not even one year. Not even one year before you left me. I'm sitting here on the warm floor nest to the fire. Eyes will soon overflow with tears. Staring at the pictures you threw in the fire after you decided to end it. To end us. Before you left. You left the flat, your things, our memories and my heart. The one that you said you'd never leave or break. You said we'd last forever, but you didn't tell me forever had an expiration date. My eyes give in and tears break out onto my face. "I could swim in those eyes." You'd say at dinner and lunch and breakfast. You swam while I drowned. Is that why we didn't work out? You said any problem we could fix, as long as we together. Why couldn't you fix me? Half of my high school years and you loved me. The other half you hate me. "Those eyes were too ice cold." You said after you had enough, that one school day. Everyone hates me now. Why pj? Why have you turned so cold against me? For Chris? At least tell me. I turn off the fire. It's winter, but I deserve it. I don't know what I did, but that must make my action worse. Whatever I did to make Pj leave me. It must've been horrid. I deserve to be in the cold. I deserve to be punished. I deserve pain. I get up slowly and head upstairs. Knocking down any pictures left of us that Pj forgot to burn in the fire after breaking the frames on my head. I deserve it. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but everyone I know tells me I deserve it. So why not listen?
I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. What a disgusting figure. Pale skin, black hair and blue eyes that I drown in every day. I search for the blade that I used to hide from Pj, only a few months before he left I gave it up. Forever. Well Pj, you taught me that nothing lasts forever. I used to do it all the time, so what's wrong with just one more line? Where was it? I place my eyes on a hidden cabinet. I must be there. I open it and sure enough it opens and there it was. Hello old friend. Remember Phil: sideways for pain, upwards for death. I nodded my head sure of what to do. I hold it gently and pull it to my skin about to slid it my doorbell rings. Who? I shove the blade back into the cabinet and shut it. I rush down the stairs. Was Pj back? Has he forgiven me? I open the door.
"Oh, hello dear!" It was a lady. Definitely not Pj. "Um, hi?" I croak back as I sigh in regret of opening the door. "Well, I just wanted to say 'hello," as I am your new neighbor! Me and my son, Daniel have just moved in and we made this for you!" She said cheerily as she handed me a basket full of sweets, chocolate and ice cream. Is that a mini-cake?!?! "Oh! Thanks. My name's Phil by the way. Nice to meet you, um.. what's your name?" I answer back trying not to focus on the sweets. "Oh, of course, my name is Lily. Nice to meet you Phil. Oh, would it be a bother if you showed Daniel around at school tomorrow?" She asks me. "Sure, its no problem at all." I add a fake smile to that one. She smiles back and says thank you. She says one more thing before she leaves, just like everyone else. "And one more thing sweetheart, I'm hosting a party to get to know neighbors, you should come. You'll get to met my son Daniel! It'll be fun!" I can't help, but to yes, or else that'll be rude. At least it's a way to keep my mind off of Pj.
YOU ARE READING
Sick of losing soulmates
Hayran KurguDan loved Phil and Phil loved Dan, but feelings become stranger when talked to by thoughts. "We will grow old as friends, I've promised that before, so what's one more?" -dodie<3
