in an alternate universe in which magic and santa exist:
a five-year-old version of myself, writes him a letter,
wishing away my blackness:
when i wake,
christmas day;
my dark skin is pulp at the foot of my bed,
the flesh suit i wear an unsettling and blinding ivory.
(a white christmas, if you will)
in this retelling of my life,
i return to school and
when i occupy the space next to jessica
she doesn't tell me i can't sit next to her
because people with my skin colour make her sick
(gagging noises included)
instead she asks what cream i use;
tells me my skin looks
so good/ so clean/ so brand-spanking-new.
in this retelling,
ebenezer -
the first (black) boy, i trick myself into liking,
as if the idea is a self-inflicted curse doesn't use the excuse:
"i don't like black girls"
as a reason for why he doesn't like me
(it's just because you're weird,)
in this retelling,
robyn (a close friend) never tells me i can't be popular
because of where my parents are from.
in this retelling
i never wonder if every time a boy rejects me,
or laughs at me,
or bets he can break my heart to his friends -
it's because i'm a silly black girl stereotype:
with my loudness, and my name and my skin.
in this retelling,
i fall i love with everyone
but myself
and in the end,
all i have to sacrifice
is my
(black girl)
magic
- which is to say, everything that makes me - me.
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the failings of a surgically healed heart | a collection
Puisi「 WATTYS 2019 WINNER 」 the failings of a surgically healed heart, is a series of autobiographical poems arranged into six thematic parts to form a collection which examines the idea of the collective and how that informs individual. i. family an exp...
