the failings of a surgically healed heart | a collection

INTERLUDE (iv);

and at last, so many years after the fact; i unromanticise, and unromance all the (toxic) friendships i shared with mean girls and "nice" guys;

till all that is left is neutralised nothingness and a palpitating heart bleeding inside me

(at least i never succumbed to the "bad boy" trope, i guess)

so i go to a (moral) support group aka a 'catholic high school' and find i only feel worse but, at least i have real friends to share my feelings with.

everything is better with them. especially heart break. and loneliness. and large pizzas.

here i ramble on about the boys (and girls) who didn't like me because of the black of my skin; the friends (and the wishful girlfriends) i devalued myself for, until i was (worth) nothing.

and they listen. until they find real love and abandon me:

leave me alongside a white boy who doesn't care for my mouth unless it's sucking him off -

with my heart break. and loneliness. and no pizza large enough to fill the hole in my heart.

--

since in britain it's currently tomorrow I'm going with that.

hi guys how are you? I'm at disney world, orlando, it's fun. american portions are enough to enduce comas, by the end of this i will be the shade of true black. other than that it's a good time.

- eve.