Forever and Always

Kabanata 5

Kabanata 5

"Why are you still here? I don't need you!"

"Bei, please. Wag naman ganito."

"Nung nagmakaawa ba ako, pinakinggan mo ako?"

"Mahal kita."

"Mahal ko si Jho. Back off."

"It's okay. It really is." Someone said behind me.

"What?" Kunot noo kong tanong. "What are you talking about, Gi?"

She smiled at me seated beside me. "You don't just move on that easily from a girl you really love."

Napakamot naman ako sa ulo. "Is it about me or you?"

Natawa naman siya sa tanong ko. "You see, it is so weird if you were already over her. It's also normal to lie to yourself and say you're truly done."

"Are you?"

She smiled weakly. "It's not that easy, fly. Everyone around me, tells me "Hey, Gi. It'll get easier over time" but the truth is, its not getting easier."

Kita ko sa mukha ni Gi na nasasaktan pa rin siya. "Why don't they tell you na mahirap magmove on? Or sabihin nila na bago maging madali mahihirapan ka muna? Hindi 'yong sasabihin nila na okay lang yan."

"Kasi, Gi. You're going to feel relationship withdrawals eh, the loneliness gonna hit you. May mga certain places na ibabalik mga memories niyo, and certain songs will remind you of her or even moments will make you miss her. Almost anything and everything will trigger your feelings for her and it'll hurt you. But keep this in mind, okay? Keep in mind that you aren't with her anymore for a reason and if you were to get back with her now, then you'll eventually break up with her again for the same reason it ended in the first place."

"Fly, ang hirap kasi. Alam kong ikaw lang makakaintindi sakin." Naluluhang sabi ni Gi.

"Gi someone told me na, as long as it may take, everything will get better in time because time really does heal everything, but that's only if you let it." I told her and hugged her.

"Fly, how can you be so good when the truth is you're broken inside?"

"Time, Gi." I said. "Let it, because it'll be worth it."

"I do understand now why you do have a good heart." She said and humiwalay sa yakap ko.

"You accept apologies and reasons you don’t even deserve. You see the best in us when we don’t see them." She paused and looked at the oval. "At our worst, you lift us up, even if it means putting your self aside."

Napaawang ako ng bibig. "Gi, that's my duties and responsibilities as your friend."

She shook her head. "The word “busy” doesn't even exist in your dictionary, God! You always make time, even when you don’t have to."

"Because, I love you guys with all my heart."

"Exactly!" She said. "I always wonder why are you the most caring? I wonder why are you willing to give so much of yourselves with no expectation in return? You accept the love you think you deserved."

"Kasi yun lang kaya kong ibigay, Gi." I honestly said. "Wala akong yaman na pwedeng ibigay."

Tumayo siya at inayos yung sarili. "Tara, jog na tayo fly."

Sumunod naman ako sa kanya. Gizelle and ate Mae broke up because ate Mae's inlove with ate Ella. Nagpaubaya si Gizelle sa kanila but they didn't know na Gizelle's not really fine with it. She's just really good at hiding it.

Dala na namin mga gamit namin para makalipat na kami sa bahay na tinutukoy ng coaching staff. I was wishing na sana si Gizelle nalang ang room mate ko.

Nagsidatingan naman na yung mga teammates ko pati mga coaching staffs. They were all smiling. Maybe because of excitement?

"Okay, wala tayong practice today." Panimula ni Coach She. "Mag-aayos muna kayo ng mga gamit niyo. Pero, bunutan muna."

This is what I hate about having a room mate! Yung bunutan portion! Bakit ba kasi nauso to?!

"Okay, ang bubunutin niyo ay mga assigned rooms niyo."

I sighed. Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko sa mabubunot ko. But I opened it, it was 8. Sino kaya nakabunot ng 8 din?

Okay, so ate Ly and ate Den are room mates. It's still the same, I guess. Batchies by batchies. And there's a big chance that Bea or Jho will be my room mate.

"So who's room 8?" Ate Ly asked.

I raised my hand and saw Bea raised her hand too. God, why naman ganito? They didn't said anything. Pumunta na kami sa bahay na sinasabi nila. It's big naman, mukhang para samin talaga siya.

"You're my room mate again." Bungad ni Bea sakin.

But, I stayed quite. I don't have enough energy to have a little fight with her.

Pagpasok namin sa kwarto ay naunang humiga si Bea sa right side bed. Yung akin ay sa left side malapit sa may bintana.

"I know, you still wanted to have the bed next to the window." Bea said.

"Thank you." I said at nilapag ko na mga gamit ko.

Inumpisahan ko na rin ayusin mga gamit ko. I saw Tots shirts on my things. I smiled when I saw her favorite shirt and a post it.

"Don't miss me that much. Ayan munang shirt ko yakapin mo. HAHAHAHAHAHA."

Napailing na lang ako. She really knows how to make me smile. Even with the little things she does.

"Can I ask you something?" Sabi bigla ni Bea kaya napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Yeah, sure."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No." Pero nasasaktan pa rin ako. "Bakit naman?"

"You and Jho are in good terms naman, 'diba?"

I nodded.

"Sana okay din sayo yung relationship namin. Batchies tayo eh."

I tried to smile. "Yeah, batchies."

"We're good?"

I looked away. I thought scars were supposed to fade? Pero bakit ganun?

"Good." I stood up and went to the bathroom. I locked up myself and sitted on the floor. And my mind went on the unspoken thoughts..

I tried everything to work things out and hold on to something that I already knew it cannot be fixed anymore. God knows how much I wanted to say na I still love her. But, Ican't. I'm tired.