Girl in Pain | {old version}

Chapter 6

❝Breathe. You're going to be okay. This pain you feel is going to pass. Maybe not this moment or today or tomorrow, but sometime soon. The hurt will fade. Don't give up before things get better. You may be wounded, but you aren't broken. You can and will heal.❞

-Unknown

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I forced myself out of the warm and comfortable hug with Cole and sat on my old bed followed by him. Another tear made its way down my cheek falling on one of my crossed legs. More and more followed afterwards, leaving a wet and messy trail behind them. Even if I was trying so hard to stop them, to hide behind my walls again, to be unemotional, I just couldn't. It was as if I lost control. I lost control in front of him.

Cole once again took me in his arms scooping me up, pressing me tight to his body. Soothing words were been whispered in my ear and like a medicine, they had some effect on me. I had calmed down. The room was now silent. The only sounds heard were my shaky breath, his light humming and his heartbeat. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on it and our matching breaths.

It's funny how someone you barely know can grow close to you in so little time and make a big difference. I've never thought I could see a bit of light again. I thought I would never see nor meet the end of that dark, cold, devastating infinite tunnel in which I was stuck, but here I am. I finally see it. Although It's still far away from where I'm standing now, I'll reach it one day.

It had taken him a few days to figure me out, to see through my thick walls, to read me, to understand me. He was the only one beside Blake who could really do that. And I think I liked it. I started to like the idea of finally having someone by my side after all these lonely years, after being an outcast for so long. I had someone by my side.

Cole cleared his throat making me divert my gaze to him. His piercing black eyes were studying me. Again. But this time, I didn't look away. I wanted to study him too, to look past those walls because I wasn't the only one with secrets. And he knew. I slowly moved by his side leaning on the cold and old walls, closing my puffy red eyes. "I'm here for you, you know. I don't care what other people will say at school or anything. I'm not letting you go. I'm not letting you be an outcast. I'm not like them and I hope you know it."

A little side smile appeared on my face while I nodded. I know it's strange. Everything happened so fast and I was trusting Cole. I was trusting someone even though I couldn't trust myself. I slowly opened my eyes and walked to my closet to open the doors. I took a T-shirt, a pair of jeans and socks out and turned around. Cole taking the hint, stood up and went in front of the window studying the poor view.

I still remember the day they assigned me this room: an old lady had escorted me to the door and opened it without even saying a word. She gave me the key and left. Closing the door and locking it, I looked around. The room was small and old, smelling of mould and humidity. There was a table near the entrance, a bed, a skimpy closet and a hanger but the thing that interested me the most was there: a window. I run towards it, standing on my fingertips to study the view. At first glance, no one would have ever seen it but after hours and hours spent in front of it, far far away, between some trees, there was a little glimmer. This calmed me a bit. I could see it. I could escape to feel it. Not everything was lost at this point. I still had the sea. From there on, I studied a way to escape and as soon as I found it, my nightlife started.

After I finished putting my clothes on, I touched Cole's shoulder. We walked to the door and left my room behind us, our emotions, everything. My unemotional facade was on. I left his side and walked down the corridor to start my duties. The sooner I start, the sooner I finish and can escape this place.

It was past midnight as I arrived at the beach. Positioning myself on the same spot as always, with my leather journal in one hand and a pen in the other, I looked around. The night was silent letting the sound of the crashing waves on the shore echo in the air. A soft breeze came up from the sea making me shiver. I was still in my nightgown, not even bothering to bring a sweater with me. Breathing out, I reached for my journal and opened it. I let my eyes wander on my last entry before starting to write down everything that passed my mind.

As I wrote down the last word, another tear slipped down my cheek ending on the fresh black ink. I closed my eyes. Remember, breathe in, breathe out. Standing up I put the diary on the rock and let the gown slide over my shoulders till it touched the ground without making a sound. Gracefully as a feather swirling in the storm. I stepped out of the circle it formed around my feet and headed towards the water. The moment my feet came in contact with the so familiar sensation, I felt tingles in my whole body. It felt as if it had been ages since the last time I came here, touched the water and was cocooned by the waves.

The moon wasn't full anymore but no matter how small she got, she still shined letting her rays reflect in the water and on my body. I found it so poetic. The water, the moon, the night. Everything was so mysterious, dangerous but at the same time fascinating, beautiful and perfect to me. Even if every one of these natural elements reminded me of that night, I couldn't hate them nor fear them. I was actually attached to them and maybe after all this time I became addicted. They became my drug, possibly keeping me from getting completely crazy and lost.

I finally closed my eyes, only focusing on the sound of the waves crashing on the cliff. I enjoyed these moments of my day in which I could be in peace and alone, accompanied by the silence and darkness of the night and my thoughts. After all, that's why I'm a nyctophiliac.

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Hi!

What do you think is going on between Cole and our little girl?

Did you expect her last confession?
Will she open up a bit or not?

Vote and comment!

[this is a first draft - you can find the newer version on my Inkitt profile: Inkitt.com/SOSimons or by clicking on the external link]

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