Girl in Pain | {old version}

Bonus Chapter - Letter to her

❝Someone asked me if I missed you. I didn't answer. I just closed my eyes and walked away and whispered 'so much'.❞ 

__________✧__________  

Dear Sea,

I'm really sorry for what happened. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry I couldn't hold you in my arms and take away your pain. It hurts to know that I was part of that pain you felt. And it hurts even more to know that we were so close to our happy ending....

I'm angry with you, you know? I'm furious. Why didn't you listen to him? I know that sometimes he's an asshole, but he did it for your own good. He was keeping you safe in a kind of way. It wasn't the best, I can understand, but that would have saved you.

But again, I guess you can't listen to those who love you, can you?

If you had only listened for once, now we would be together again. I wouldn't have had to carry your lifeless body to the beach. I wouldn't have had sleepless nights for months. I wouldn't have cried myself to sleep because you aren't here anymore.

And now I'm wondering if it is my fault that you're not here with me. With us. That night, did my voice distract you? Did you even hear me?

How could you be so reckless. Don't you remember what dad told is about currents? Don't you remember my pain? I guess not.

I do remember your voice though. It came out like a caress on my face. I do remember how sweet and precious it was. I remember how your last words were my name. You said my name Sea. You looked at me and then you suddenly closed your eyes. You died on me Sea. I hate you so much for that.

Sometimes I feel stupid you know? I've been writing to you every single day after that... And I pretty damn know that you will never be able to read nor answer to any one of these, but I still do it.

Every night I sit down and I write these stupid letters. And for what?

It doesn't matter anymore how I feel... but at least I'm coping in a better way than him. I'm not better than him, that's not what I'm trying to say. No. It's just that I drown my feelings and sorrows in these letters and music whereas he drinks every day, especially at night.

It's hard for us, you know? It's hard to get along when we blame ourselves and each other for what happened to you.

But I think that right now we need each other too. No one could understand what we're going through right now, at least not that well.

We became each other's rock in these past months. It reminds me of us sometimes...

He's broken like me Sea. We're two lost boys without you by our sides.

I just wish I could hold you in my arms again feeling you hugging me back this time. If only you knew what I would give to hear your voice for one last time...

Your beloved twin

__________✧__________    

And this extra chapter is up! 

What's your impression? 

Do you think Blake was too harsh?

And what about Cole's way to forget?

If you enjoyed it please consider leaving a vote and a comment, I really love feedback.

Btw I must say I always find it funny when some silent readers pop up from nowhere with a vote here and there or comment even on the last chapters. It actually makes me happy to see that you liked my book and you're there. 

So to all my silent readers out there, Hi!

!!! Check out the Q/A chapter for further questions & curiosities !!!

[this is the first draft - you can find the newer and extended version on my Inkitt profile: Inkitt.com/SOSimons or by clicking on the external link]

Inkitt: SOSimons

Facebook: SOSimons

Twitter: SOSimons_

Instagram: sosimons_