Training Wheels {Zerkaa}

{Chapter Six}

"Ellie," a voice calls.

The banging stops. My eyes shot open as the voice of the unknown opens the white wooden door. Josh. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me up so I am standing on two bare feet. He doesn't let go. He picks me up bridal style and carries me through the corridors.

"You panicked everyone." Josh states as he places me down onto his bed.

"I-I'm sorry." I apologise, my voice barely audible, more of a silent whisper.

"Simon thought you did something really stupid." Josh continues.

He tucks a piece of loose hair behind my ear. I look down.

"Why were you crying?" Josh asks.

Can't it be more obvious? Can't he just see what everyone else sees? 

"It don't matter." I mumble.

"It matters to me!" Josh raises his voice in annoyance.

I flinch at his sudden burst. I hear him sigh, placing his hand on my shoulder. I look up at him innocently and afraid.

"Look, I'm worried about you. I hate seeing you like this. Please-" Josh places his hand on top of my hand, "- you can tell me."

I snatch my hand away, looking away from him. I can't tell him. He wouldn't care anyway.

"Ell-" Josh backs up at my interruption.

"No! I can't tell you. I don't trust you enough. I've made it perfectly clear what's the matter. You've been to hooked up in her arms to even notice me in the corner." I snap.

"You've always got to make it about Freya!" Josh shouts as he stands up in anger.

"No, no, no. You always brag about how much she means to you. I don't care! I never did! I had to put up with you and her snogging each other's faces off!" I shout back.

"You're so selfish!" Josh growls.

"I'm selfish?!" I scoff. "Whatever Josh."

"No, you are. You always were. You never listened to me!" Josh argues.

"Because it's fucking boring! You rant about the same thing every single fucking day!" I yell in annoyance.

"You wouldn't know what's it's like being in love!" Josh pushes me in anger.

I stand up and face him, not scared that he's a foot taller than myself.

"You think I don't! Maybe I do know, and maybe it's the reason why I was curled up in a ball and crying!" I bark, punching his chest with my small fists.

"You've never been in love!" Josh states.

"How would you know?" I shout, not wanting the answer.

"Because you were always busy. You never had time to even look at a boy." Josh calms down slightly.

"I've always been thinking about a boy in the time I was busy, I still do." I fight.

"Who then? He seems very important to you!" Josh raises his tone in, what seems, jealously.

"He fucking is important!" I cry.

"Who is it?" Josh asks.

"You."

~

"You always stare into space. Thinking about someone?" Josh chuckles, nudging me back to reality.

"Mhm." I hum with a smile.

"Are you going to tell me who?" Josh asks politely.

"Why should I?" I giggle, pushing him lightly and walking off.

Josh follows along behind me.

"I-i wanna know!" Josh causally being nosey.

"Well, you can't!" I chuckle and carry on walking further and further away from him.

That's the way I felt towards Josh. I feel like I was being pulled further away from him as she got to him. He'll be following me, then she'd come into the scene and take him away. That's how it was. Sometimes he'd get too far away and never return.

"Joshy!!" Freya calls.

I turn around and see Josh approaching Freya's arms. She pulls him for a tight emotionless hug and kiss him tightly. I gag in disgust and walk away. I sigh.

He was in my arms once, and now, he's gone.