Training Wheels {Zerkaa}

{Chapter Twenty Three}

23:49pm

"What you thinking about?" Simon asks, eating his noodles.

"Huh?" I question as I shake my head back into reality.

"He asked, what are you thinking about?" JJ repeats for Simon.

"Oh, um, nothing much." I breathe out.

Vik enters the room and glances at me strangely.

"You feeling okay?" Vik asks.

I nod slowly. "Why?"

"You look like you've just seen a ghost." Vik answers.

"Oh, no I'm good. Just miss Josh, that's all." I lie.

"He'll be back for a few hours, he's gone go to Tobi's." Simon replies.

"Yes, I know. I'm just worried, okay?" I groan.

"Don't you trust him?" JJ questions.

"I do trust him. I don't like that Freya could be out there, following him, waiting." I stare blankly out the window.

"She's gone cook-coo." JJ laughs.

"It's probably all the di-" before Simon could finish, I but in.

"No, I haven't took any dick." I interrupt.

"Wait, what? You're still a virgin?" JJ asks, being nosey and getting personal. 

"JJ, slow down. I'm not a virgin." I snicker. "It's just, me and Josh haven't had sex, yet." I say quietly, not wanting them to hear.

"Speak up love." Simon commands.

I gaze around at the three boys. I bite my lip nervously.

"M-me and Josh haven't had sex yet." I repeat, louder and clearer.

JJ's jaw drops.

"What? How?" JJ shouts questionably.

"JJ, man, they've been together for three days. I'm sure they don't want to rush into anything." Simons response is reasonable, and I'm glad he understand.

"And, I'm not sure if he's ready. He seems a little nervous." I add.

"Josh? Nervous?" Vik laughs.

Simon walks over and sits next to me. He places his hand on my shoulder.

"Ellie, this is Josh we're talking about. He's never nervous." Simon assures.

"I don't feel comfortable talking about me and Josh having sex." I blush.

The front door slams shut. Speaking of the devil, Josh walks into the kitchen.

"Here he is." JJ cheers.

"What have I missed?" Josh asks.

I blush hard and look down.

"Wow, man, I can't be-" JJ begins but Vik nudges him, telling him to be quiet.

"Nothing." Simon coughs.

"What have they said?" Josh questions, sort of laughing, and sort of curious.

"Nothing, it's all good." I lie. Josh squints his eyes at us all.

I press my index finger on my lips to JJ as he was about to open his mouth.

"Okay.." Josh trails off.

I bite my nails as I think about the situation earlier. Should I bring it up?

I feel Josh place his hand on my thigh. A stinging sensation goes through my leg. I slowly glance up at Josh with a faint smile.

What if Cassie's right? What will I do? Dump him?

I can't. I mean, it was a while ago, right? But, for the whole twelve years I've known him, he could of slagged me off then. He might possibly slagged me off to Tobi, and even Harry.

"Ellie, you okay?" Josh asks.

"Josh, mate, she's been staring at the wall." JJ laughs, trying to find some humour out of it.

I, painfully, look towards JJ. I see his smile die down. I guess he's only trying to make the situation feel happier, but it ain't helping, especially in this mood. I really don't know who to trust.

"Is it about the thing we were talking about?" JJ whispers to Simon.

"No, JJ just stop talking about sex. Please. Me and Josh haven't had sex, get over it!" I shout in annoyance.

JJ drops his head and sighs.

"JJ, sorry, I best go." I mumble, rushing upstairs. 

I slam the door shut. I collapse on the bed and let my head sink into the white pillows. My body jolts with every cry I let out.

Why don't I trust my own boyfriend? Josh never lies, does he? He wouldn't do that to me, right? I love him. I trust him, I think. Cassie is just a massive cunt. She always lies. She's a hypocrite, and she's best mates with Freya. This is so stupid now. Have I been a dickhead? Josh must think so. I shouted at JJ, and he didn't deserve it.

A light knock at the door. I feel the bed lower down next to me, and my hair is being stroked.

"Ellie, that wasn't fair to shout at JJ like that." Josh sighs. "Are you crying over downstairs or something else?"

I stop sobbing and look at Josh. He wipes my tears with his thumb softly. I sit up and run my fingers through my hair to straighten it.

"I'm sorry Josh." I apologise.

Josh gives me a confused expression.

"I'm sorry. I-I've made myself look like such an idiot." I sob.

"No you haven't, kitten. What's wrong?" Josh asks as he brings me into his arms for a tight embrace.

"I just though Cassie was right. I'm so sorry for not trusting you, and I'm so sorry for ever doubting you." I explain as Josh rocks me.

"Ells, it's okay. Cassie is a hypocrite. We don't need her in our lives, do we?" Josh questions.

"No." I mumble.

"Good. Don't get yourself in a mess." Josh smiles.

I snuggle in Josh's chest and hum at how comfortable he is. I yawn as me and Josh lay down on the bed.

"About that thing downstairs..." Josh trails off.

I feel myself heat as I glance up at Josh.

"What about it?" I blush.

"Are you annoyed about it?" Josh asks.

"No, Joshy. I don't care if we do or not. I'm just happy to be with you. We've only been together for three days. I think it should wait, unless you want to." I answer.

"I'm not bothered." Josh yawns.

"Night Joshy." I purr.

"Night kitten." Josh replies.

I close my eyes and hide my face into the crook of Josh's neck as my hands are resting on his chest. I kiss his neck softly before falling asleep.