Training Wheels {Zerkaa}

{Chapter Twenty Seven}

//The Next Morning\\

I stay in bed, staring at the ceiling for hours, thinking about what happened last night. I screwed up badly. Josh hates me. Simon ain't talking to me. JJ is ignoring me. Vik's came up to check on me.

I've fucked up so badly. It was accident. I didn't even enjoy the kiss. I hate Chris. I love Josh. The most heart breaking part wasn't that I kissed Chris, I broke Josh's promise. He won't trust me anymore. I hurt him, just like Freya did.

"Get out of bed and talk to Josh." Vik demands, pulling the duvets off me.

"He hates me!" I cry, stuffing my face into my pillow and grabbing back the sheets. "I fucked up so badly and I hate myself for it. I bet he doesn't even want me in his sight."

"You're right, you did fuck up. But Josh doesn't hate you, he feels like everything was pointless. He's doubting himself, not you. He needs you. He might not think so, but he does." Vik fights.

"But Simon and Jide hate me." I weep, soaking the white pillow with tears.

"They don't hate you, Ellie. They're disappointed." Vik sighs.

I look at him painfully and sob. He slowly rubs my back like Josh used to, causing me to cry.

"I know they are. I'm disappointed in myself." I choke.

"Josh deserves an explanation." Vik shrugs, standing from the bed.

"I can't face him." I whine.

"You have you to. He's probably downstairs right now, crying his eyes out, thinking you don't love him anymore." Vik raises his voice in anger.

Silence lingers in the room at the wrong time. The atmosphere feels tight and my breath hitches.

"I hate myself for hurting him. He didn't deserve it." I add. "It's was all an accident, I didn't even like it either. It was a drunken mistake. I thought he was Josh."

"I understand." Vik hum.

"But Josh don't." I cry.

"I do, but you broke my promise." I hear Josh speak gently at the door way.

I glance over at him, seeing the state I caused. Josh's eyes are bloodshot and he looks like he hasn't slept all day.

"Josh," I call out. "I-I'm so sorry."

"I'll give you two some space." Vik insists, rushing out and closing the door behind him.

Josh sits on the bed next to me. I face him but I don't look at him.

"Look at me Ellie, tell me you didn't mean it." Josh begs.

I look straight into Josh's eyes and tell him it was all a mistake, that I didn't mean to kiss Chris.

"I-i love you Josh, you know that! I know that! Yeah, I broke your promise, but you know it was a misunderstanding. I'm sorry for hurting you. I kissed Chris because i thought he was you. You know how overexcited I get when I hear your voi-" Josh cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine, which caused me to fall down with Josh on top of me.

"I forgive you." Josh smiles.

"Yo-you do?" I hiccup.

"Yes, I do. I love you so much. It was a silly kiss. I know you wouldn't do it on purpose. I was thinking about it this morning. You didn't make a promise to break it. And I trust you. I love you." Josh explains.

"Thank you, Joshy. I promise I won't ever hurt you ever again. I love you so much." I thank, smashing my lips against Josh's. I feel Josh smile and pull away a few seconds after.

"I love you so much too, kitten." Josh smiles, pecking my forehead softly.

I snuggle into his chest, it's good to have him back.