Authors Note: I don't know if anyone is still reading this book but here's a new chapter for you after a long ass time. Hope you enjoy!
~Jessica's POV~
I didn't completely take Niall back, of course I still love him but I was scared to fully trust him. He could be lying to me about anything and I wouldn't know about it. Although he said he would be honest with me I just have this feeling of doubt. Once trust is broken it stays that way. I'm letting him be apart of my life and letting him be involved in anything that has to do with the baby but I feel like we're both in danger.
Speaking of the baby I'm a couple weeks close to my due date, and I'm scared shitless. I'm not ready to have a baby come out of me, nor am I ready to take care of a baby... that's if I keep it. I've been considering to put the baby up for adoption but I don't feel like I can trust people in taking care of my child. Everything is still undecided and I don't have much time to make the right decisions. Life is scary, and it sucks that I'm not ready for it but it's a step I'm forced to take.
**
I flip threw the channels on the Telly, not finding anything of my interested. "Liaaaaam, can you bring me some pickleeees! Pleeeeease!" I screamed. A couple mintues later Liam came with a huge jar of pickles and hands them to me. "Thanks."
He sits next to me on the couch amd watches as I continued to flip through the channels. "So how are you and Niall?" He asked.
I sigh, "We're fine I guess. I still don't know if letting him back into my life is a good thing." I open the jar of pickles and pulled out the biggest pickle I could find.
"I feel like it's an adult thing to do."
I groaned "Yeah I guess so." I take a bite of the pickle, the sour taste making my tastebuds flutter with excitement. "Liam I don't know if I wanna keep the baby."
"I feel like once you have the baby, you'll want to keep him. It's like a weird baby to mother connection."
I shrug my shoulders "Maybe...but what if I don't have that connection-" The doorbell interrupts our conversation.
Liam gets up from the couch and walks to the door. He looks through the peep hole, unlocks the door and opens it. Niall walks into the house "Hey." He sits next to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
Liam shuts the door "I'll give you two privacy." He makes his way up the stairs and into his room.
Why'd he have to give us privacy, please come back. I look at Niall ams give him an assuring smile "Hi Ni, whatcha doing here?" Niall looks back at me while biting his nails and I grab his arm to prevent him from chewing off all his nails "What's up Niall?" I asked concerned.
"Well Jess...I was wondering if you'd let me take you out tonight?"
"Like...a date?" I questioned.
"Yeah, I'd like to take you out on a fancy date before you give birth to our child." His lips curl up in a smile. "So what do you say?"
"Sure, okay." This drop like feeling overflowed my stomach. I had never felt this way before, am I nervous? No...I'm far beyond that emotion. I don't know what this feeling was.
"Great, I'll pick you up at 7, wear something warm amd comfy."
~7 a.m.~
"I'll have her back home before 12." Niall told Liam.
"Good, you better or I'll hurt you Niall. Have fun kids." Liam closes the door behind us and we walk to Niall's car. He opens the passenger seat and I slowly and struggingly get it but somehow I make it. Niall closes the door and enters the drivers seat. He turns on the car and starts driving me to an unknown date place.
While we drive, I look out the window in silence. I started to think about the relationship between Niall and I. I didn't know what I wanted with him, I love him with all my heart but he's my kidnapper, and he also cheated on me. I wanted to be with Niall but in order for that to happen I'd have to forget about those things...but could I really do that? Did he even love me? Does he even have genuine feelings for me? He was being so caring, so loving, so amazing...I don't know...but is it real or is it fake? I have so many questions, so many things unanswered. I want a family with him, I want a full marriage relationship but I was scared for my child and I's safty.
"You okay there Jess?"
"Huh?...oh yea just thinking about things." I responded quietly.
"What's on your mind darling?"
I sign. "A lot."
"Like what?"
"Just stuff about you, about us, and the baby." Niall hums in response
"Hold that thought okay, we'll talk about that when we arrive to our date." I nodded and continue to look out the window.
*
Niall opens my door and helps me out, we were at a park deep into the woods. I enjoyed nature, I enjoy the night sky espically when there's some visible stars. Niall help my hand as he guided us to our dinner picnic.
There was a picnic table with lit white tall candles, read rose petals, white plates silverwear, and applecider. It was overly romantic. "Niall you went over board on this stuff."
"Anything for the person I love so dearly." He said the L word, we haven't said that word since we startes talking again. I made him promise to keep that word to himself.
"Love?" I questioned.
"I know you don't want me saying that but it's true. It's how I feel. I love you so much, you can go ahead and sue me I really don't care." I usedy finger go to shush him.
"I'm hungry Niall."
"Oh right, here take a seat my love." He placed a soft pillow on the bench for me to sit on, I was so thankful for that. I didn't need my butt to be hurting. He took a seat across from me, he opened the applecider and poured it in our cups. He held up his glass and I held up mine. "This toast is to you, for being so strong, so independent, so mature, so beautiful, and so perfect. Cheers."
"Cheers" we clinked our glasses and took a sip. I set my cup down and folded mg hands together. "So what's on the menu?"
"I'm glad you asked." He pulls out a huge bag full of food...from Nandos. My tummy growled loudly. "Someone is really hungry." He laughed.
God I love his laugh, his laugh was so cute and so admirable. It was just full of joy and I drive me crazy.
Once he laid out all the food we began to eat, and while we ate we talked, laughed, and enjoyed each others company. I needed this, this date was a great things to do I gotta give Niall props.
"Jess?..."
"Yes Ni?" We looked into each other's eyes.
"I love you so much Jess, you mean the world to me. You're smart, beautiful, wise, and so much more. I love everything about you, because of you I've changed into something good and better. You are the reason I live, the reason I bother to try, my reason to wake up in the morning. You are always on my mind, you never leave it. You are just everything I've ever wanted and needed. I know I fucked up so much over the year but I promised to make things better, to make all that up to you. Jess...you are my desire and I desperately need you in my life. You and the baby..." Niall gets out of his seat, stands infront of me and holds out his hands. I held them, and he kneeled down on one knee.
"Niall what are you-."
"Jessica Tomlinson...will you marry me?"
**
Author Note:
Hey guuuuys I hope you liked this short chapter. Kinda crappy ik but this whole story in general is very crappy. It's fricken everywhere but whatever I wrote this book a long time ago I'm just trying to finish it..i think I'll write 1 or 2 more chapters and this story will finally ve completed. Pretty heart breaking but it needs to be done. Anyways, I'll see you next chapter.
